Sunday, 4 November 2012

Goodbye.... !

I think its time to write to you now. Though I know I dont have to write something to you to convey it to you anymore. You can read my mind and thoughts. Its time I let you go, cz I know and believe very strongly that, the way to gain anything is to let it go.' And I feel its time I let you go, so that you can come back on your own, and I know you will come back, you have to come back!

The past few days were very bad, yes ofcourse I blame you for that. I'm not going to be sugary sweet like everyone else, I have never been like that, and I will never be. You. Yes, you are the reason for my sudden outburst of tears, for my sudden tiredness, for my sudden depression in the past few days. Yes, I have a bag full of complaints for you, and you should be ashamed of that. Never. Never ever have you given me a such a chance before, but today is different. I hope you can see everything from up there. I hope the vision from up there is very clear. I dont need to say anymore. You must have already seen your parents, your friends, me...everyone! Do you still need me to say anything else?  No, I wont! Silence kills the most, and I want you to be ashamed for your silence. Your eternal silence.

I still remember that day, when I first spoke to you. Although it is very hazy now, but the imprints are very deep. I had asked for your moral science notebook. The decorative and creative cover that you had put, had caught my eyes the very second you placed it on your desk. I know what you told your mom about me. 'There's a new girl in my class. She's fair and tall and thin, and eats a lot of butter. On top of that brings an apple too, and finished it all before the bell rings.' Aunty had told me this plenty of times. I had always smiled at this description. Had I known, you were to go so soon, I would have asked for some more memories of ours, spend more time with you, been more kind to you...if only I had known.....

Do you remember, when we had just started reading Nancy Drew books, and we both wanted to be detectives? I had written my first invisible letter to you with orange juice, and you had ironed it and read it? It was my first invitation to you to my colony. I had invited you and uncle - aunty to my colony for navratri. We had played garba all night. Those were the initial days of our everlasting bonding, the friendship which eventually made many people jealous! Maybe even God....

Do you remember our badminton games? All winter nights...just you, me and badminton. We would play till the shuttle cork would turn nothing but a few crooked feathers. Dont you remember those hopscotch games? When we bruised our knees and sprained our ankles? Dont you remember those cycling sessions? When I taught you how to cycle? Dont you remember those evenings when we would ride all around my colony? Dont you remember the times when you fell down and bruised your knees and elbows? You never cried...but aunty would come running to see if you were fine. The times when you would panic and leave your cycle and just simply step down and stand aside, while your cycle would go and dash the object infront. I wish I had taught you not to panic too....

Do you remember our cycle races? While returning home from school, we would have cycling races with each other, or sometimes with some other group of our school or any other random school. All we needed was a group of cyclers, and we would instinctively go racing with them! Do you remember the times when we discovered the huge empty road (now it flaunts the famous restaurant - Timeless), and we'd race there for 10-15 minutes everyday, before getting exhausted and heading our home. I wish I had made you cycle with me on the highway too, so that you would get rid of your highway-phobia too.....

Do you remember those endless and tireless dance rehearsals we had together? That one song on which we danced almost 5 times...'badle se badla nahi jaega....' Those straw ornaments we made together for the entire group. And the countless classes we bunked together to practice dance. Later, our rehearsal center became your house. And those small refreshments of juices and bhel that aunty would hand us. Dont you remember our group dance competition? The bengali dance group. Your house was our rehearsal center  and we would all rush home, have lunch, and immediately head back to your place for the countless dance practices. We both had choreographed the entire song. And we had won the 2nd prize too! Hadn't that group done classical dance...that first prize was ours! Dont you still remember the tune of that song? Shohag chand bodoni dhoni naacho toh dekhi.... bala naacho toh dekhi.... bala naacho toh dekhi.... bala naacho toh dekhi.....

Dont you remember our early morning bike rides? Your early morning wake up call, and I'd so sleepily say, 'Yaar, kal chalte hai, aj tu bhi so jaa, main bhi so rhi hun.' Dont you remember it all? Dont you remember our outings? Marine drive, chaupati, oxford bookstore, borivli national park.... I wish I had spend more time with you......

Dont you remember it all. I know, you are in a much better place now. I believe that. I know you He called you up there, cz maybe he needed you more than we do. But, dont you think 20 years is way too less to live life fully? I know it is. I know, there were many more things yet to be done, yet to be enjoyed, yet to be faced. But maybe he really did need someone as good, as honest, as pure and as silly like you. Or wait, I know why he called you. He needed a girl who talked like a boy! And trust me, there was none other in this world than you! And aren't you enjoying there? No studies... just TV and Tang the whole day. And a pinch of your paan masala after meal, can heaven be any more enjoyable?!

Its time I let you go, only then can you return back quickly. Its time to say goodbye. There are many more things to be said, many many confessions to be made, many many things to be shared. And I will share them with you, its a promise! Whenever things will go out of my control, whenever things are too much for me to handle, whenever I need to share something, I will write to you. Thats how how we express ourselves best, dont we? I will keep writing visible and invisible letters always. Just one request, do reply to them I will always be waiting for replies.

PS - My oldest and one of the bestest friend - Titiksha Garg, met with a road accident on 30th october and passed away. It is to her. Although I say I have let her go, I have said goodbye...but it is not really that easy! It is going to take me sometime to bid her adieu. But it is one fact I truly believe in, that she is in a much better place right now, and I am happy for her!
Cheers Titiksha ! :)

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

They say.........

They say, you are not the same anymore, you have changed! I look at them sarcastically and think to myself, yes I'm no more the same, I have changed, when did I deny that. I know I'm no more that sweet girl who'd listen to all your non-sense with a lock on her lips. Yes, I have changed. I dont do every damn thing that you tell me to, I am no more your puppet, and yes I have changed. I use my head, I take my own decisions and I decide whats right and wrong for me. Yes, I have changed, changed for better.

They say, you no longer are what you used to be, and I say, yes, when did I tell you I'll always be the same. When did I promise I'll never change. Did I take an oath to be with you forever? No. So how did you assume I'll always be what I used to be then. I say, it is your fault not mine. Yes, I am no longer the person who I used to be, but I never said I'll never change.

They say, you no longer have time for me, and I say, yes I dont have time for you. Yes, you no longer in my priority list. Yes, I prefer meeting other people over you. Yes, I prefer talking to other people and not you. But when did I sign a contract with you, stating I'll always talk to you. When did I say you will be the only person on my contact list. When did I say you will be my priority forever. When did I promise not to talk to other people over you.

They say, you dont care anymore, and I say, true, I dont care anymore. When did I say I'll always care for you. When did I promise I'll always be at your side. When did I say you'll always be on my mind. True, I have other people to care about. Yes, you are not the only one in my life. So, stop expecting things to freeze in the past, where you are so stuck up, and move on.

They say, you look different! I know what they mean, they mean, you look ugly, but hell yeah, when did I tell you I'll always look my best. I do have a mirror at home, and trust me, I look at at it everytime before stepping out. So I know I look ugly, but when did I say I always look beautiful. I am not a plastic face, or a face plastered with plastic, so I look as I am, the true me, the natural me, and I know how I look. Yes, I look different, but did I promise to look the same ever!

They say, they said, and they will keep saying. But I never said I'll keep listening to them. I never promised I'll always do what they feel I should be doing. I never said I'll be what they want me to be. I am what I am, and I give a f*** at what they think I should be doing!!

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Squeeze me like a lemon....!

Dear life,

There have been so many times when you have squeezed me like a lemon, crushed me like a sugar-cane, blended me like the coriander leaves and grated me like the onions, to bring out the best in me, and you have succeeded very successfully in doing that. And I am thankful for all that, yes I am! You've made me stronger and helped me grow like the coconut... strong, stout and hard from the outside, but soft and creamy from inside. I'm glad for that, yes I am! You've taught me so many things in all these 20 years that I can only be thankful to you. You have shown me success and failures too! There have been times when I sat in the corner and cried, but you have shown me moments too, when I proudly flaunt and rave about my achievements. You have given me many gold medals, and you have given me red lines in my report-cards too! You have shown me the good and the bad about various things in life, and made me wiser, and I thank you today for everything you have done and given me. There have been times when I fell down and scrapped my knees and shed tears that could fill a river, but you have also taught me that falling is the first step towards rising! Without failure there is no succes, without tears there is no happiness, and without night there cannot be a day.

I thank you for making me realize your value and importance. There are times when you have been unfair, unjust, rude and mean to me, or so I have felt, but you have always made me realize that with every bad thing comes a good thing. You have made me cry but you have made me laugh harder. You have pushed me into depression but you have given me tons of memories to cherish too! You have closed many doors on my face, but you have opened many new doors too! You have locked me in the dark room but you have also always slid in a candle and a matchbox to keep me company and get rid of the darkness around me. I have fallen many a times but you have always sent someone to hold me and wipe my tears and comfort me with good words and advise. You have given me many teary nights, but many laughter bouts too! You have given me a handful of enemies but a whole bunch of friends too. You have made me realize that it is not always the blood relations that really matter, relations can be build overnight with a complete stranger. It is not always necessary that whatever you do, people will do the same to you. Just because you are a vegetarian, doesnt mean, the tiger wont eat you! You've taught me to always expect the unexpected. You've taught me that no matter how perfect the lie is, it can never out-wit the truth. The truth, no matter how small and how well hidden, comes out of the closet at the end. You just cannot hide the truth, so better to tell the truth and skip the chain of lies. Thankyou for making me realize that lies never work, and truth is always the only answer.

I thank you for every little failure that you've shown me, I've learned so much from them. You've taught me that failures are not just failures, they are the must-haves for success. A person who has never failed, can never succeed. Success stands on a pillar called failure. So, the number of failures you have just means the stronger the base of your success, the only catch is to never lose hope and keep trying. Thankyou for holding my back, everytime I lost hope, and showing me that one ray of hope when everything seemed so dark. Thankyou for giving the best of everything I ever needed. The best of parents, the best of siblings, the best of guardians, the best of friends, the best of companions, the best of teachers, the best of everthing. I thank you today, because you've also shown me that, everyone in this world is not as lucky as me. Everyone on this planet is not blessed like me. You have not been so good with everyone like you've been with me. Though there were times I called you partial and mean and unfair, I didnt realise that you are way too partial and too good towards me. Thankyou for being so partial with me, and giving me all the happiness and joy and comfort in my life. Thankyou.

Life, you have made me the person that I am today. You have always showered me with surprises. You never cease to surprise me at every corner, every turn on my path. You've taught me that only change is constant, rest everything changes. We must not hold on to things, letting go is the nature and rule of life. Nothing lasts forever, one day everything has to go away...your friends, your lover, your partner, your parents, everything! Holding onto them just ensures that you cant progress in your life. Move on, enjoy the freshness of the new things around. Enjoy in the expectation of unexpected. This is life, and you must move on.

You have taught me that the only powerful moving force around is LOVE. Love everyone, smile at everyone. You might just make someone's day blissful and happy with your smile. So, smile all the time! Thankyou for teaching me something new everyday. A new experience everyday. A new adventure everyday. And most importantly, giving me a new day everyday! I feel blessed just because I'm still alive and happy! Thankyou.

But having said all this, I also have a request for you, dont squeeze me like a lemon, or crush me like a sugarcane, because..... Ouch! it hurts!!

Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Lady Narcissist!!

Welcome everyone!!
They say, if you wait long enough, you always get the best! And it applies to everything and everywhere in life. And today I'm here to share with you all my first guest post ever! And could it be anymore grand than having it on the blog which inspired me to start writing short stories!! Her stories awakened the dead creative cells in my brain, and now I try visualize fictional scenarios in everything around me... no, that doesn't mean I day-dream the whole day! I just try picturing unusual stories in the everyday situations around me. Just like seeing the world through a tinted glass, and everything around you appears tinted!

So, *drum-rolls*
 I, Aditi Ray, hereby, proudly announce, about my first guest post ever! And that too in none other blog than Mystical Skeptical Me!!!! *claps please!* xD :P

The author of this blog is Pradeeta Mishra, commonly known as MSM! This species is found very rarely, and can be classified as the best in its breed! I have been talking regularly to her off-lately, and she is one of the cutest, sweetest, most bindaas, and most adorable girls I've ever met! She's a lawyer by profession, graduated from Christ College, Bangalore, and is currently jobless! I've been inviting her to Mumbai considering at the huge demand and shallow supply of lawyers here, but she's hesitant! But voila, the moment I asked her for a movie, and pat comes the reply, I'll come to mumbai soon, and then we'll watch it together! :P No, she's not a retard, bas thoda screw dheela hai! :P But she has been most supportive, and so kind with my post and put it up in her blog, as a guest post! :)

So here is the link to my guest post. It is my first try with such genre, so please be kind with me folks! 

Until next time...
Cheers! :D

Thursday, 19 July 2012

I have learned.....

Hola everyone....!
I've been a bit busy lately, and have been more on a reading spree than writing something. Though I have been writing constantly, that I cannot live without, but I've not been able to produce something worthy of my blog! Yeahh, just like everyone else, my blog too deserves the best! So, like I said, I've been reading a lot lately, I stumbled upon a blog and found myself reading every post religiously. This is the blog, and every single post here is a master-piece in itself. I read many of them and hugged myself for doing so. Though after reading them all, I decided to share one of them. So here you go... and I hope you too will find it worthwhile!
Happy reading fellas!!
Cheers! :D

I’ve learned-
that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned-
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned-
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned-
that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

I’ve learned-
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.

I’ve learned-
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned-
that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned-
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned-
that you can keep going long after you can’t.

I’ve learned-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I’ve learned-
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned-
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I’ve learned-
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned-
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned-
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned-
that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned-
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned-
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I’ve learned-
that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

I’ve learned-
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned-
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned-
that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.

I’ve learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned-
that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned-
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I’ve learned-
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned-
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned-
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I’ve learned-
that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.

I’ve learned-
that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

Organised, are you??

    Off lately, I saw my bedroom, study table, wadrobe, cupboards, drawers, etc. nothing more than a pig-sty. Sometimes, I wondered if I had queered the pig in his lifestyle. But as usual, I have my excuses ready on fingertips! To start with, my exams were going on, I had to study, organising or tidying things would have cost me dearly on my time. And its easy to find things when they are in just one-hand-distance from me! So, everything, that includes my books, notes, clothes, purse, cell-phone charger, watch, hair-clips, hairbands, comb, lip-gloss, mosturizer, bag, not to forget my cellphone and earphones, happened to be in that one-hand-distance radius! So whenever I needed something, I didnt have to waste time by getting off my bed and going somewhere to get it, just stretch your hand, and the world is at your finger-tips, quite literally! This continued till my exams got over. After that, the entire arrangement had to be distorted and the cluster of things had to be kept somewhere else so that my bed looked like a bed! :P  But the lazy clumsy lethargic sloth that I am, I just bundled up the entire mass and pushed it inside a comparitively empty shelf in my wadrobe! Ta-daa!! And my bed was clean!! :D

     The fact that my mom doesnt open my wadrobe unless and untill its something she desperately needs from there, kept the lil secret of my cleanliness, a secret! It was only a week later, when my classes started, and I couldnt find my comb... and my favourite hair-clips... and my dictionary... and my ear-phones... and my orange top... and my shredded denims... and my pens and pencils.... and my socks... that I started digging in my black hole, hoping everything was still there, and hadnt decomposed lying there! And well, it was all there, except for the fact that they...ummm...well... needed some fresh air! :P

     So finally today, after almost two and a half weeks, I, Aditi Ray, proudly say that, I have cleaned my wadrobe, 'genuinely'! I stocked all the books back on my book-shelf, sorted all the clothes as clean and unclean, set my table straight, put all the stationary back in the holder, plugged the charger back on the switch-board. ( Now dont ram your brain as to how my phone survived two and a half weeks without the charger, well, dont almost everyone of you have more than one nokia chargers at home?! :P ) Pheww!! My room is now genuinely clean and organised! :D  I feel so happy and good about it! Although I dont have everything at an arm's length, but they all are at their own places, neat and organised!

     How many times have you felt happy and proud of yourself after organising something, putting it in order?? It makes you feel like you have just almost instantly and magicaly shed some kilos from your heavy built. Makes you feel at peace. Makes you feel happier and more confident of yourself and of the surrounding. Makes you feel clean!

      There are many instances when my cleanliness-freak friends felt pity on my room and without hesitation cleaned my room on my behalf. They said they got an itching palm looking at my room, and felt happy after cleaning it! Ashamed am I? umm..well.. no.. Infact, I still call them home when my room needs a lil cleaning! :P  There was a particular incident when one of my friend came to visit me, and lost her bike keys in my room! Yeahh.. in my room, to be precise, on my bed! :P  No, my bed isnt a puzzle maze where things get lost, she just wasnt used to beds like mine! :P Her bed is always clean and tidy, not a peck of dust to be found in her room, no matter what time you visit her! So, whenever she visits me, she first tidies my room, and then we sit and chat! :P  Such strong is the cleanliness-freak-monster in her!! :P

      Yes, I too like things clean, tidy and at its place, in short, organised, but not to an extent that I'll go to someone else's place and start organising his room! Blahh.. I'm too lazy for that! But its surely good to have friends who are control-freaks, and cant breathe in an untidy room, saves you a lot of work you see! ;) :P

Friday, 18 May 2012

Birthday present!!!!

"Woman......  I want a blog about myself for my birthday as a gift. And its on 13th May. So dont forget ok, anyway, I'll keep reminding you about it, but thats what I want for my birthday from you!"
When I crink my nose up with a confused look, "A blog???"
She brightens up all the more. "Yes. A blog! Better still, how about a book! A complete book about me!"
"Okay..okay... A blog it is!"

So here it is! A blog as your birthday present! And I am so extremely sorry for the delay. I was so embarassed, you have no idea! but then again, all the good things in life are not easy to get, right?! ;) :P

 "Heyy thats a nice bag! My friend likes it a lot. She's Akansha, and I'm Ankita!"
That was the first time we ever spoke. And voila, I remember it till date! It was just that moment which predicted that we are going to be great friends for life-time. We have more than one thing in common and I often wonder what a mad house our mere company can create! She's funny, sometimes way too funny, and the best part is that she's serious about it! :P 

She walks hastily, texting on her BBM constantly, she looks up once in a while to make sure she doesnt bump into someone or something! Her long hair flutters on her shoulder, a few strands escape the crowd and fall on her eyes, she pulls them back behind her ears in a slow tradtional Indian manner. She looks up and finds me staring at her, she waves at me in a quick la-deepika-padukone-in-om-shanti-om-style and gives me a tired but happy smile. Her mind, eyes and fingers go back to her BBM! Her dimples brighten her face, her eyes twinkle and my heart goes out to her when she smiles like that! No guys, I'm not a lesbian... I just admire and like all the beautiful things in life around me! And she definetly is one beautiful thing for me! I ask her why is she so tired, and she gives me her longgggg story with every intricate detail that a girl would want to know! I feel like giving her a warm hug and saying 'All iz well'... but before I can do so, she cheers up, well, she has a story to tell! Her eyes play a naughty smile, and she starts with, 'areyy pata hai...?', and I'm all ears. Grinning and matching the light in my eyes with hers. I listen to her patiently, and while doing so I'm transported into another world completely. I laugh, I smile, I feel good, I feel happy, I feel sad, I feel pity, I feel envious, I feel jealous... I feel it all just through her stories. I almost live those moments through her stories. But I persistently ask her again why is she so tired? She tells me, she's tired of so many great guys in her life! Could I be any more jealous??! She tells me its so difficult to stick to the right one when the wrong ones are so tempting and cute! And I couldnt agree any more. But then again she tels me the good things are difficult to keep, and they are the ones which should be kept for life-time! I just cant help but grin, a big stupid grin. And we burst into our fits of giggles. We share our private jokes, girly jokes and giggle together. Her super cute smile trasfixes my eyes and I have to control my hands from not pulling her cheeks and giving her a tight peck on her cheeks! She's cute mahnnn... I cant help it!


She is turning 21 and prides herself saying now she can do everything that she did till date, legally! And if people who know her think she's getting mad, then well it is true. Yes she is getting mad! She's been preparing for her birthday for as long as 6 months, it could be longer! The pre-birthday bash is going on since 2 weeks, and the post birthday bash will continue for another 2 weeks! If people call me a social animal, she MUST BE a social monster! 

She's a keeper in all senses. She's a F.R.I.E.N.D.S. fanatic, and a completely cheesy F.R.I.E.N.D.S. fanatic! She is the perfect replica of the women we so adore in books, movies, and esp fiction. She's independent, mature, good-looking, adorable, sensible and practical. There is a queu of men behind her, all of them droolingly good, she enjoys their attention, and yet is a loyal one-man-woman! She loves the man of her life from the bottom of her heart, and could her life be more perfect! She's gorges on chocolates like she's on a complete chocolate diet, and then complains, I wish I could be like you and Aka...! Her mantra for weight loss is simple, "STARVE!". ANd if you can convince her to exercise or hit the gym, I'd happily be your slave! She can put any shopaholic to shame, yes, she's a monster-shopaholic too! :P

She is an avid book worm like me. She's not the mills-n-boons type, as a matter of fact, neither am I! She loves history and thrillers and a Sophie Kinsella is welcome anytime! She's equally mad about tarot cards as me. She tells me she wants to learn bangla, and I find her taking down notes of the lines and phrases I've just said to her in bangla. She's more enthusiastic about learning bangla than any subject or any chapter taught here in our two-hour lecture! 

I wish I could write a few more pages about you girl, and I sooo wish I knew you completely in-and-out-and-skin-deep, then I could definitly write a book on you, and you never know, it could do what 'one night at a call centre' did to Chetan Bhagat! :P In that refrence, I am J of Aka... She knows you so well. All your deep secrets, all your mood swings, all your madness! I wish I could know them equally well too!

And I apologize again for the delay of your birthday present! Hoping I am forgiven... and I lobee-dobee you shoo much bacchuu...!! Jeez, I cant believe I am actually writing it here! But then, I clarified it earlier that I am not a lesbian, so its okay! :P

Cheers!! :D

Thursday, 5 April 2012

My Evergreen Fools!!!!

    Just as we enter into the month of April, 1st April welcomes us with the the 'April Fool's Day'. This blog post is dedicated to all my fools! Yep guys, its for you all..! And even if you dont know me, but consider yourself a fool, then its for you too! :P My life, somehow, is full of fools. No, no.. not all of you are fools, just a fraction are. Now please dont ask me to state the fraction! :P

    Okay, coming back to the auspicious occasion it is, I am really glad, that my friends have been dedicated a complete day to celebrate their uniqueness and speciality. Right since my school days, I treasure my friends, and well, celebrate this day of the year, almost everyday with them.

             The first fool of the post HAS TO BE... my school friend, best-wala-besty, a bong and my co-blogger - Mandy! I personally believe, God was experimenting when he created her. He must be thinking, how will  a species be like, if I give her a body of a girl, beauty of a princess, mind as big as a grain of sand, walk of a drunkard, and sense of humor of ...err..... that still is a mystery to me! And voila, Mandy was born!! :P  She truly is unique. She is the most hilarious and memorable company you could ever have! And the beauty of it all is that she doesnt realize it when she's cracking a joke! So, the result could be, that you are in splits, and she too is laughing hard with you, after you regain your composure, she will sweetly ask you, 'Kya hua?? Why were you laughing??' and bwhahahahahahahaa... you go again! :P  She has the potential to drive a shrink mad! And ohh... dare you walk besides her on the road! If she doesnt help you in getting admitted in a hospital with atleast a few limbs broken, then hatts off to you!
And and and... not to forget, the 'bwhahahahahaha' is her signature reply online or in reality! Ask her anything and she'll laugh first and then reply! :P

            Second in this list must be Star. Yes, she rightly has taken this place! She being a Goan catholic, her hindi is masha allah! Her hindi is all you have to hear to go in splits. She does things most of which happens to be for the 'first and the last time'! Yes, she experiments a lot, with foods, clothes, etc etc etc... and thanx to the result, doesnt dare to repeat them again! :P  She asked me to teach her Hindi, and well... now, apun ko bhi hindi bolne ka nahi ata! ;) :P

            Third comes another friend called Titiksha. She is a female with a male head. Confused?? I'll help you. Talk to her and you'll get replies like - 'Aj nahi yaar main kal ayunga. Abhi toh khana kha rha hun. Kal subeh ko ride pe chalte hai na? Main apni bakri (scooty) ko leke pahuch jaunga tere ghar k nicchu, ok!' And what more, how much ever you try talking to her like a girl, after a few hours, unconsciously, you too will have the same dialect! :P

             Next here to take the place is Veni. Yeaa... she has taken the back seat here cz she has never given me so many reasons to keep her in this list, although her phone always keeps falling from her hand, and her hanky... well.. you could say her hanky is a kangaroo's offspring! She always finds it on the floor where she had been sitting or standing. And yes, she's soo healthy and over-weight that give her a light slap on her back, and she could be on the other side of the road! :P  And she's always soo over-confident, that every now and then I get a text/call from her stating, 'Aditi, I donno wat to do... I'm so nervous... Just talk to me for sometime na, tell me what should I do?!' :P

            Not far away is Sumaiya. Yes, shorten her name, and that could be the end of your life. She is miss.perfect! Yes, she CAN sit at the powder-room for hours at a stretch, if her hair is not looking perfect. Always over-layden with accessories. A click-o-holic! She could drive you crazzyyy if something goes wrong with her appearance! :P  All you need to do to get her spirits high is, talk of her marriage plans, and ask her to pose for your lenses! :P  Although all these things doesn't justify her presence completely here, but you see, not finding her name here, even though its a fool's list, will upset her a great deal! :P

Did you miss the boys here?! Oh yes, its been a completely female dominant post, but boys, worry not, I will soon dedicate a post completely to you all!

Till then, Happy Fool's Day!! Stay foolish, stay happy! ;) :P
And all those mentioned here, I love you all! And those whom I missed, dont be so happy, you all still remain the fool that you are! :P

Cheers!! :D

Monday, 26 March 2012

Do you believe in ghosts.....??

   The evil and darker forces havent yet vacated my mind. Gosh, they are so persistent! Its like they want me to follow them, they are dropping bread-crumbs everywhere, leaving a trail for me to follow. Just when I was out of my mental ordeal about the darker forces and plan not to pursue them, an incident comes right front of my eyes. I cannot close my eyes even if I want to. I just cannot. I have to think and pursue them. Pursue them to satisfy my curiosity, pursue them to feed the burning flame of questions erupting in my mind.

  My mind tries very hard to dodge the question. "Does ghosts exists??"

  My logical and scientific side says, 'No. They dont. Its all illusionary.' My reality-bitten side says, 'Maybe, maybe....everythings not an illusion. Maybe....there is some realtiy to it. Maybe....they really do exist.'

  Our mind fails to understand things which cannot be proved scientifically, and it is right. We must find answers to a particular situation before reaching a conclusion, and those answers must fit the puzzle logically. Still, there are some puzzle pieces which dont fit anywhere. They dont have answers. They dont demand explanations. They just happen to loom in the dark, until discovered. These unnatural phenomenons occur all the time, everywhere. We just need to mark their presence and feel them around us. These unnatural phenomenons are nothing more than spirits - forces - energies. You cannot merely brand a force/spirit/energy to be dark. Its their deeds that tags them dark or not. Yes, they surround us all the time. Whether they try to control our lives or not is merely a matter of choice and nature of the spirit!

   After all this time of reading, listening and coming face to face with instances where logic fails and we have to give the situation a benifit of doubt, I have finally started believing in spirits. Yes I do. Although I dont blindly pseudonym any activity as a spirits' deed, but yes, when logics fail, science raises its hands up in the air, nothing else answers the question, it is then that we must know that we are not alone in this universe. Those in flesh and blood are not the only one homing this planet. Just like us, the spirits too have their habitat here, somewhere around us, and we must respect it by not intruding their space and privacy. How should we know if a space belongs to them? well... I have no clue in that sphere, and you better be carefull as to how you find it out! ;) :P

   Now comes the real question... Have you seen or experienced them??! 'Yes', says many of them and they truly believe of such existance! And the ones who say 'No', always find hard it to believe in such existences.

   Have I ever come face to face with these forces? No, but yes, I do believe in them. They have touched my life without touching it. They have passed my way many a times and I cannot help but be intrueged and feel mystified by their presence. They make me feel their presence without presenting themselves to me. They are not vulnerable to my senses but I can feel them around. The sudden jolting upright in my bed at night due to weird dreams, mind you, not scary but weird. And the very next day I find myself in a situation which feels so absurdly similar and identical. I dont know how, but it feels like I've already been in this situation before, and I know what's going to happen. Later, it dawns onto me, that I had been dreaming about it the previous night. People call is sixth sense, astral travel, telepathy, dream control, etc. But heyy, why dont I dream like this about my future happenings every night? Google may offer some scientific explainations, but my logic fails to understand.

   Just recently I saw the documentary-cum-movie called '?' (question mark) [the one seen above]. It deals with such a topic and answers my question in affirmation about the existance of ghosts and spirits. It also explains the presence of such forces/spirits around us and for a change, the explainations dont repel our logic senses. The phenomenons shown there too happen to be true. I didnt believe it earlier, and I am sure, anyone who hasn't witnessed something so violent as that wont believe it. While going through this mental ordeal, deciding whether they actually happen to be true or not, I turned to a friend, who happens to be a psychiatrist. His experiences and cross-overs with these spirits gave me more than just goosebumps. They got me thinking. My psych was made to believe that ghosts do exist. They too share our world and live in them just like we do. They too enjoy their space and fight back if we badger them - knowingly or unknowingly!

   And now when I think of ghosts and write this post, the curtain suddenly flows in my room with just a slight hint of breeze outside. I peep outside the window in this dark night and hear slight slurring whispers amongst the tall palm trees. I smilingly acknowledge their presence, draw the curtains and bury myself in my bed. I mumble a short prayer, and welcome the security of my pillow and the linen.

Friday, 23 March 2012

My Occult Obsession..!!

I wonder why am I so obsessed with the darker things in life so recently. No, I am not talking just about dark chocolate and coffee, I have always been obsessed with them, from as long as I can remember! Here I am talking about the occult practices. The occult obsessions. The prohibited things from our societies. The darker forces. The darker energies. The darker sides of almost everything.

Yes, there is a darker side to everything, to everyone of us. To keep it hidden or flaunt it to the world is ur choice, but the darker side remains with us, no matter what! It appears once in a while, shows its scarred face and again lurches back into its ghetto.

Of lately, I hav been reading the Shiva trilogy, and the emphasis of the evil and the good side of the same coin has only made my obsession with it more deeper and so much more stronger! I couldnt help feeling so completely entralled by the evil forces, but does that make me evil? Does my obsession with the darker aspects of life brand me too as an occult species? I dont think so. I feel engulfed by the darker hidden forces, but not so much that it blinds me and blurs my vision. Just the presence of such forces and energies around me is all I need to excite me and provide my curiosity enough fuel to keep itself burning within me.

A few days back I found myself reading and grasping all the possible stuffs I could about Tarot Reading. A strange thought crossed my mind that same night. Do I want to learn the art of Tarot Reading? Yes, my conscience replied withut hesitation. It the secrecy and power to answer all the unanswered questions that attracted me to it. The mere thought that I too can answer and know the darker secrets of life makes the adraline in my body race up. It is not just the Tarot Reading that I am intrueged by, Automatic writing, crystal balls, ouija boards, etc. too have caught my fancy. Black magic intimidates me. Psychs have always facinated me and not freaked me out!

Spooked, are you?? Dont be....!

Because without a wrong, there cannot be a right. Without dark, there cannot be any light. Without the mystical and mysterious, there cannot be anything bare and exposed. It is just the same fact that seduces me to these hidden corners of life.

Aren't you fascinated by the fairy tales you heard as a kid? Didnt they intrigue you? Didnt you want to know more and more about it? Uncover the secrets and marvell at the sheer breathtaking fact that they are no more secrets to you? Were you not hungry for more and more knowledge and power to discover the occult sciences and dig out your answers? Its the same fascination that drives me towards these dark hidden occult forces and energies with such startling velocity. I feel drawn towards them not to follow them or imbibe them but to enlighten myself about them.

I still am more mystified about the Serpant than the God who lured Eve into consuming the forbidden fruit of knowledge. The evil inside me laughs with an evil grin and tells me, You will never know, but it is that same evil grin which stimulates my walking pace into the land of forbidden secrets. Its the curiosity that becomes the driving force and leads the way to unravel the secrets of the darker land!

As I search for the answers to the hidden unanswered questions, my lips curl into a half smile and eyes narrow down into a deeper stare, the evil inside me laughs silently on a private joke which supposedly is not to be shared. Its a secret too. Ssshhhh....! ;)

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Kyunki, Pagalpanti bhi zaruri hai....! ;)

 Just as sat to update my blog with another post, as usual, I was clueless and lost. Should I write on this? Or should I write on that? Or maybe this? Or wait, this seems better.... hmph! Yes, indeed I am lost! Lost in my world, trying to to give a peek-a-boo into my world through these short posts. ( Yes, these ARE short... comparatively atleast!)

So just as I wrestle with the topics and discard them with the speed of light, I get a call. No, its not from God, I am no Chetan Bhagat! :P  Its from my best friend, Veni. I tell her I am looking for a topic to write on in a dolorious voice, and she replies instantly in her usual bubbly voice, 'Hey why dont you write about our visit to the Xaviers College?' So here it is, my visit to one of the oldest and most glorious colleges of Mumbai - Xaviers College!

Disclaimer- To all you Xavierites, I am neither glorifying your college nor am I in love with your college, though agreed your college doesnt need glorifcation, the least from me, and well yes, you could call my feelings for your college as infatuation! :P

It was a lazy day in my college, lectures were cancelled, hardly any crowd to hang out with, just a few of us, with those few deciding to go back home obidiently. We (read as, me and Veni) too generally behave like those boring obidient students and catch a train and head back straight home or end up in a library or Oxford bookstore surfing books and flipping pages. But that day was different! We were in a mood for some excitement and fun! And generally, whenever we are in such a mood, we end up doing all the retarted stuffs without even a second thought! So we left our college and and started walking towards Xaviers! Yes, agreed its a 'lil long walk, but heyy walking 15 mins in the early morning wont do any harm. So we walk and walk and walk, and discovered its a 'lil more than 15 mins, almost half an hour! :P

Visiting the college was Veni's idea because she still hadnt seen the college campus yet. So le me be the guide, and le her be the tourist! I called up my school friend who studies there, she came out to recieve us like honorable guests. Little did we know, that we, honourable guests, would be stopped by the watchman for our IDs! How I wish I was 'Holly' and get an entry into the no-entry areas acting like I was the princess of Finland! :P  But no, the watchman, with his long handlebar moustache didnt seem mercyful at all, rather asked us too many questions on our presence. But somehow, we escaped it under the pretence of having some office work and managed to sneak in.

The college welcomed us with the old renaissance building and gothic architecture. The huge open space and the long stretched corridors made us feel like we happened to be in one of the colleges in a bollywood movie! To all those who dreamt of college just as shown in the bolly movies, this one would be a dream come true for you all! Yes, I truely felt like walking in a college from a bolly movie. It may seem utterly stupid and naive, but yes, I did expect to bump into a handsome cute guy, with the books and papers flying all around us, and we both go on our knees to pick up the shattered sheets of papers and books with our eyes fixed at each other and voila, we fall in love! :P But nothing of this sort happened. Rather I met many hippie guys with long hair falling over their shoulders, heavy bags on their back, a guitar or a trumpet falling on their waist, well... I guess I should leave this topic here itself. Moving on.. the canteen pulled us with its vibrant environment and we were lost there for a few seconds, digesting the panorama of the canteen and the foyer. Yes, we both were standing there for a few seconds with our mouth wide open, gasping for breathe, then we proceeded. What made us gasp? The crowd. The culture. The feel. The college!

If this wasnt enough for you, well... stay hungry, and visit the college once! There was more to what we did that day, but writing it here will earn us the tag of retards, so allow me to skip those parts! ;)

Before I cheat with my own definition of err... a short post, I will end it here. We left the college in an hour debating with ourselves as to why we should stay in our college and not change to Xaviers for our next academic year! :P  The only thing kept us back was their autonomy. Hell, I can survive in my own college for the next one year, but study for weekly tests which will be assessed during our finals and boards?? ummm... well... We love our college too! :D

Sunday, 26 February 2012

"Taste kahan he???"

Where is the taste gone out of our lives? Where is the inspiration? Where is the force gone which made us work harder and harder?? Its gone, lost somewhere. Lost on facebook and twitter. The energy is spent already. The motivation is missing from our lives. I remember an ad of a chat masala, where people ask the same question in chorus, "taste kahan he?". Today, I ask the same question to myself. "Taste kahan he??"

There was a time when I was inspired and motivated about the goals in my life. My destination seemed so crystal clear. Even today my destination is clear to me, but the motivation to walk on that path, the inspiration, the confidence seems to be lacking in certain proportions. The proportions although are scaringly high.

The time when all I saw was my life, my career, my goals, my future and was inspired to strive hard to attain them is the time that I miss today. Why? The inspiration is missing! I'm not inspired to work hard. I dont feel like burning the midnight oil. My mind wanders on unwanted thoughts, I try to bring it back but in that process, I too get lost! And once I get lost, its almost impossible to get back to reality. Not that this is the first time its happening to me, just that its happening at a crucial time like this. Yes, this time is crucial for me, very crucial, and I must deliver my best and succeed!

I feel like Arjuna, standing in the battlefeild with a bow and arrow in my hand, my imaginary family standing against me, and I feel low. I am not motivated to fight. I feel too small to put up this fight againt such a huge army. I have already lost the battle in my mind and feel like a loser. I feel like giving up, standing at a point where I haven't even started. I need a Krishna, to inspire me, motivate me, and push me to do my best, work with my entire potentials and win the battle. But Krishna is missing from this Kurukshetra. I look everywhere for Krishna but he is just not visible to my naked eye. I need Krishna to show me his Vishvarupa so that I feel inspired to work hard and win the battle with complete dedication to my goal. But well... Krishna is missing from my version of kurukshetra. What a tragedy! Can you imagine Mahabharata without Krishna? No! Its practically impossible! It just doesn't fit the laws of nature. There is no success without inspiration, motivation and dedication! Even if you have the question paper in your hand a day before the examination,and you dont feel motivated or inspired to learn those few answers, you cant pass, as simple as that!

Why am I saying all this? Because my finals are on my head and I still dont feel inspired and motivated to engross myself into books! Oh Krishna, show me thy Vishvarupa! Tell me thy holy words and inspire me!

Books being my soulmate in life, I feel so heartbroken! Yes, this temporary break-up with books is making me frustated and restless, all at the same time. Yes, all you out there, who are nursing a heart-ache, I completely sympathize with you. I do understand how you feel, because I too feel the same right now. I feel ditched, but thankfully, the one to ditch me is my mind and my books. I want my zen back. I want my books back. And most importantly, I want my inspiration back!

So, I end it here, wondering again, "taste kahan he??" and hoping I get the chat masala back in my life soon!

Thursday, 9 February 2012

Whats new....?!!

Just today afternoon before dozing off in my warm blanket, I thought about the blog... gosh,its been so long I haven't penned down anything! Yeahh.. I was a bit messed up! Thoughts didnt flow through my mind like they used to be, or like my friend calls it, I wasn't zen! (No, not the car! Zen here means, being the channel of positive energy and being in sync with the universe on the whole.) So, now, I am zen, and here I am!

So, as usual, I am going to write about the latest happenings in my life, apart from college, class, books, shopping, and clicking pics! ;)

Whats new in my life, I ask myself. There are many things and many people. Some old relations gaining their true meaning while some new ones loosing theirs. Some old companions coming back into my life while some new ones going far away. Some new acquaintances becoming an intregal part of living while the old ones taking the backstage. Aah! So much for a meek life-form like me!

So I ask myself again, whats new in my life? The answer is vague, yet clear. Temporary, yet permanent. Not relevant, yet too important. Right here, yet not visible. I ask myself again, whats new in my life?! I concentrate on it. I think about it. Yes, sure, I know the answer to that question. Whats new in my life? Its many things.

Right from the book in my hand, the clothes in my wardrobe, the name in my inbox, the person on my mind, the name that comes to my mind when I have to share something, the people close to me, my priorities, my best friends' list, to the pair of shoes on the rack, the colour on my nails... its all new!

But then again, old is gold! Yes, as much as I enjoy the new things in my life, I miss the old ones equally...or maybe more! I dont know if its right to compare the old and the new, but damn yes, I miss them! Its not that I regret any decision I've taken so far. No. Thats not me. I never regret anything because at a certain point of time, that was exactly what I wanted to do. So no regrets for sure. But... the word but... It has started getting a pain in my butt! :P [I should try my hands on poetry someday again.. you know the humor poems! ;)]

After all this time I realized the only thing new in my life is 'change'. Everything around me and inside me is going through a change. Change for something better. Trying to make anything permanent at this stage is going to lead me and others into trouble! Aah! I ask myself again, whats new in my life? I get the answer this time. Its 'change'. 'Change' is new to my life right now. And I am loving this change. Dont know for how long, how far, but yes, I am going to accept the change again as and when it comes to visit my life. 'Cause, change is the only thing which is permanent till eternity...!!

Friday, 6 January 2012

Delights of Winter!

Winter is my favourite time. Though I know we have no winter here in this city, and though I also know that those who do have a real winter, like the Delhiites are going through now, will scoff at my seemingly false claim.

But please let me explain myself. Winter, to me, has something of romance in it...

I guess it is because of those Christmas cards we recieved frm our schoolmates in our school with pictures of snow-capped mountains and of course Santa with his huge belly n an over sized bag, the sight of everyone in sweaters (atleast in the early morning and late nights!!), or those late night badminton matches, or those hot cuppa coffee after every few hours, or those cuddling up in the blankets or woolen shawls while getting up in the morning, or simply watching ur breathe curl up into a misty cloud when you breathe... all this add up to the winter delights!!

The early morning song of the kookoos and the koels make a wonderful good morning song for a brand new start of the day. The fresh looking plants and brand new leaves on the branches of the trees makes me forget that I stay in a concrete forest... (thanks to my locality with plenty of trees and greeneries!) The morning dews droplets on the green grass glitters as the first ray of sun falls on it. The mist and fog clouding in front of our eyes before dawn and the early morning shiver we get when we come in contact with the chilling water.

Winter brings its own delights not just for me and all my human fraternity but also for the trees and plants and those speechless little creatures!!
The gardens and trees look so much more healthier and fresher during this season. Looking at them makes me feel that they are breathing this chilled air and are content doing so.

Winter is a great weather to get-togethers and open air outings. It is one season that I always look forward to spend with my relatives and cousins. The late night outings with them. The warm woolen jackets and mufflers wrapped around our body. The hoards of laughter soaring up the atmosphere and those cuddling over the warm bonfires...

I remember sitting on marine drive in the mornings and seeing the entire city change colours from dark to orange to white. ( Yes, my college is at marine drive, and it definitely is a boon and I love it hundred folds for just this fact! ) Sitting there and watching people jog-start their day. The school buses packed with children heading to school, and the excited children screaming and waving at us while we sit there with our bunch of vellas and wave back at them cheerfully! The pedigree dogs running with their owners in hoodies. The gang of senior citizens jogging or mostly walking in their groups talking and laughing. And ofcourse many-many other groups of vellas sitting on the side-walk like us, chatting incessantly and giggling or just simply lost in their own world. Winter is the time this place is the most enjoyable! 

Of course winter is not a kind time, but then neither is a heat wave, or for that matter a harsh downpour in the monsoon months!

And though the monsoon can bring its own magic, and spring is the season most poets sing loud and long about, give me winter any day.

So all of you who have not noticed the charms of the season, unwrap yourselves from in front of the TV and PC set, put on your walking shoes and step out to greet the Bombay winter!!