Monday, 21 April 2014

Saying NO !

When was the last time you said NO to somebody ?

When was the last time you said NO to yourself ?

Saying no is an art. Its an art I wish I possessed. Because the dumb, kind, oh-let-it-be person that I am, I tend to just let things be... or simply allow myself to be fooled into saying yes, when I really want to say no. Saying no is as difficult for me as it is for a chain smoker to quit ciggies. They know its bad for their health, they know they must stop, but just knowing and thinking about it doesnt help an ounce. To actually quit your smoke-pot is a different ball-game altogether. Just simply saying no, eases your life of so many troubles which you later might have to go through. The problem again is my diplomatic nature. I just cant say no easily to anyone... hell, not even to myself !

I see a gola-wala...yeah, those flavored ice sellers, and think to myself... no, its not good for my health. And the very next moment I find myself asking for a kala-khatta flavour with extra spices on it. A friend asks me to do the extra work with a puppy smile.. and I think to myself, no way I'm doing it again this time, and to my own surprise I find my head nodding with a smile. Dont mistake me for a door-mat... its not like I let anyone or everyone take advantage of my helpful nature. But there are a few people you just cant say no to. And with those certain people I just dont seam to learn!

Saying no is such a necessity in our world now... because no matter what, you ought to be what you ought to be. Being good is good, but only at certain times... rest of the time, there is no harm in being a bitch. Because the people I cant say no to, often say no to me when I expect a yes from them. Maybe its my fault. I expect people to be like I am with them. Its like a expecting the tiger not to eat you just because you didnt eat him! Silly me ! Maybe being a herbivore is a thing of the past. Today, if you want to survive in this big bad world, you ought to go carnivorous.

A close friend of mine always told me to forgive and continue being good, irrespective of what you are getting in return. She always said, if we too start behaving like the ones we dislike, what is the difference between them and us? True, that was some food for thought. She was the one who always cooled me down everytime I got into a fight or one of my temper-attacks got the better of me. She pacified me with the same words every single time, and somehow to the libran ears it sounded convincing enough to cool down and apologize for my rude behaviour. But life is all about the middle paths... and same is the story in this case too!

Yes, true, middle path is the answer. A balance of yes and no does the trick. But to attain that perfect balance, is a lot of hard-work.

I read something in the newspaper today and loved the sheer beauty of the sentence and its meaning...
                     "  Firmness today, is the way to avoid confrontation tomorrow  "
...and so much has been said and meant in these few words. Saying this, I strive to attain that balance between YES and NO...

PS - Happy Earth day ! :D

Sunday, 20 April 2014


" Time heals... "

I have often found myself on the giving end of this particular advice. I've often been the shoulder my friends used to cry on... and I've time and again assured them, "time heals."

But does it really heal? Does it really heal all your pain and worries? Does it really erases all your wrong-doings? Does it really make you the way you were before you were shattered into pieces? If you are looking at me expectantly for answers, then forgive me, for I too am looking for the answers.

There are certain things that take eons to heal, assuming time heals everything, though it may take a little longer. But what if right when the wound is about to heal, right when you are about to bury the skeletons and move on to a fresh morning, a new day... you are suddenly reminded of the murder with intricate details. How would that feel ? If you are a masochist, then definitely, it feels like heaven ( I suppose! ), but when it comes to normal people, how does it feel ? It feels like time is not enough to heal. You probably need something else too. What else? I'm still looking for it.

They say, when you hurt a girl, you kill a part of her. But what when you completely kill her inside - out, and then leave her for the vultures to prey on. Can time really heal that? I shouldnt compartmentalize the girls. I dont have the right to point out to the men. Its just a matter of timing. Or is it karma ?

Karma is that rubber-band which stretches for a long time, and then snaps right back on your face, and sometimes leaves a permanent mark on it ! Maybe it is karma. What goes around, comes around too. And now I know, it really is true.

All we can do is wait and watch if time really does heals.