Sunday, 26 February 2012

"Taste kahan he???"

Where is the taste gone out of our lives? Where is the inspiration? Where is the force gone which made us work harder and harder?? Its gone, lost somewhere. Lost on facebook and twitter. The energy is spent already. The motivation is missing from our lives. I remember an ad of a chat masala, where people ask the same question in chorus, "taste kahan he?". Today, I ask the same question to myself. "Taste kahan he??"

There was a time when I was inspired and motivated about the goals in my life. My destination seemed so crystal clear. Even today my destination is clear to me, but the motivation to walk on that path, the inspiration, the confidence seems to be lacking in certain proportions. The proportions although are scaringly high.

The time when all I saw was my life, my career, my goals, my future and was inspired to strive hard to attain them is the time that I miss today. Why? The inspiration is missing! I'm not inspired to work hard. I dont feel like burning the midnight oil. My mind wanders on unwanted thoughts, I try to bring it back but in that process, I too get lost! And once I get lost, its almost impossible to get back to reality. Not that this is the first time its happening to me, just that its happening at a crucial time like this. Yes, this time is crucial for me, very crucial, and I must deliver my best and succeed!

I feel like Arjuna, standing in the battlefeild with a bow and arrow in my hand, my imaginary family standing against me, and I feel low. I am not motivated to fight. I feel too small to put up this fight againt such a huge army. I have already lost the battle in my mind and feel like a loser. I feel like giving up, standing at a point where I haven't even started. I need a Krishna, to inspire me, motivate me, and push me to do my best, work with my entire potentials and win the battle. But Krishna is missing from this Kurukshetra. I look everywhere for Krishna but he is just not visible to my naked eye. I need Krishna to show me his Vishvarupa so that I feel inspired to work hard and win the battle with complete dedication to my goal. But well... Krishna is missing from my version of kurukshetra. What a tragedy! Can you imagine Mahabharata without Krishna? No! Its practically impossible! It just doesn't fit the laws of nature. There is no success without inspiration, motivation and dedication! Even if you have the question paper in your hand a day before the examination,and you dont feel motivated or inspired to learn those few answers, you cant pass, as simple as that!

Why am I saying all this? Because my finals are on my head and I still dont feel inspired and motivated to engross myself into books! Oh Krishna, show me thy Vishvarupa! Tell me thy holy words and inspire me!

Books being my soulmate in life, I feel so heartbroken! Yes, this temporary break-up with books is making me frustated and restless, all at the same time. Yes, all you out there, who are nursing a heart-ache, I completely sympathize with you. I do understand how you feel, because I too feel the same right now. I feel ditched, but thankfully, the one to ditch me is my mind and my books. I want my zen back. I want my books back. And most importantly, I want my inspiration back!

So, I end it here, wondering again, "taste kahan he??" and hoping I get the chat masala back in my life soon!

Thursday, 9 February 2012

Whats new....?!!

Just today afternoon before dozing off in my warm blanket, I thought about the blog... gosh,its been so long I haven't penned down anything! Yeahh.. I was a bit messed up! Thoughts didnt flow through my mind like they used to be, or like my friend calls it, I wasn't zen! (No, not the car! Zen here means, being the channel of positive energy and being in sync with the universe on the whole.) So, now, I am zen, and here I am!

So, as usual, I am going to write about the latest happenings in my life, apart from college, class, books, shopping, and clicking pics! ;)

Whats new in my life, I ask myself. There are many things and many people. Some old relations gaining their true meaning while some new ones loosing theirs. Some old companions coming back into my life while some new ones going far away. Some new acquaintances becoming an intregal part of living while the old ones taking the backstage. Aah! So much for a meek life-form like me!

So I ask myself again, whats new in my life? The answer is vague, yet clear. Temporary, yet permanent. Not relevant, yet too important. Right here, yet not visible. I ask myself again, whats new in my life?! I concentrate on it. I think about it. Yes, sure, I know the answer to that question. Whats new in my life? Its many things.

Right from the book in my hand, the clothes in my wardrobe, the name in my inbox, the person on my mind, the name that comes to my mind when I have to share something, the people close to me, my priorities, my best friends' list, to the pair of shoes on the rack, the colour on my nails... its all new!

But then again, old is gold! Yes, as much as I enjoy the new things in my life, I miss the old ones equally...or maybe more! I dont know if its right to compare the old and the new, but damn yes, I miss them! Its not that I regret any decision I've taken so far. No. Thats not me. I never regret anything because at a certain point of time, that was exactly what I wanted to do. So no regrets for sure. But... the word but... It has started getting a pain in my butt! :P [I should try my hands on poetry someday again.. you know the humor poems! ;)]

After all this time I realized the only thing new in my life is 'change'. Everything around me and inside me is going through a change. Change for something better. Trying to make anything permanent at this stage is going to lead me and others into trouble! Aah! I ask myself again, whats new in my life? I get the answer this time. Its 'change'. 'Change' is new to my life right now. And I am loving this change. Dont know for how long, how far, but yes, I am going to accept the change again as and when it comes to visit my life. 'Cause, change is the only thing which is permanent till eternity...!!