Monday, 21 April 2014

Saying NO !

When was the last time you said NO to somebody ?

When was the last time you said NO to yourself ?

Saying no is an art. Its an art I wish I possessed. Because the dumb, kind, oh-let-it-be person that I am, I tend to just let things be... or simply allow myself to be fooled into saying yes, when I really want to say no. Saying no is as difficult for me as it is for a chain smoker to quit ciggies. They know its bad for their health, they know they must stop, but just knowing and thinking about it doesnt help an ounce. To actually quit your smoke-pot is a different ball-game altogether. Just simply saying no, eases your life of so many troubles which you later might have to go through. The problem again is my diplomatic nature. I just cant say no easily to anyone... hell, not even to myself !

I see a gola-wala...yeah, those flavored ice sellers, and think to myself... no, its not good for my health. And the very next moment I find myself asking for a kala-khatta flavour with extra spices on it. A friend asks me to do the extra work with a puppy smile.. and I think to myself, no way I'm doing it again this time, and to my own surprise I find my head nodding with a smile. Dont mistake me for a door-mat... its not like I let anyone or everyone take advantage of my helpful nature. But there are a few people you just cant say no to. And with those certain people I just dont seam to learn!

Saying no is such a necessity in our world now... because no matter what, you ought to be what you ought to be. Being good is good, but only at certain times... rest of the time, there is no harm in being a bitch. Because the people I cant say no to, often say no to me when I expect a yes from them. Maybe its my fault. I expect people to be like I am with them. Its like a expecting the tiger not to eat you just because you didnt eat him! Silly me ! Maybe being a herbivore is a thing of the past. Today, if you want to survive in this big bad world, you ought to go carnivorous.

A close friend of mine always told me to forgive and continue being good, irrespective of what you are getting in return. She always said, if we too start behaving like the ones we dislike, what is the difference between them and us? True, that was some food for thought. She was the one who always cooled me down everytime I got into a fight or one of my temper-attacks got the better of me. She pacified me with the same words every single time, and somehow to the libran ears it sounded convincing enough to cool down and apologize for my rude behaviour. But life is all about the middle paths... and same is the story in this case too!

Yes, true, middle path is the answer. A balance of yes and no does the trick. But to attain that perfect balance, is a lot of hard-work.

I read something in the newspaper today and loved the sheer beauty of the sentence and its meaning...
                     "  Firmness today, is the way to avoid confrontation tomorrow  "
...and so much has been said and meant in these few words. Saying this, I strive to attain that balance between YES and NO...

PS - Happy Earth day ! :D


  1. Librans are often victims of this not-able-to-say-no. I know your struggle being a libran myself. I find it hard to say no to certain people too. It'd be hell inside my mind wanting to say no and eventually ending up saying yes.

    It's an art indeed that we need to master.

    1. I feel better now that I am not the only one like this ! :P

  2. Saying NO- something we Indians are bad at.
    Lovely post !

  3. It is so true that we say no to ourselves a lot of time in a constant attempt to please someone else. This was a much needed post!

  4. It is a natural tendency for us to feel important if someone seeks our help. We may be aware that we are not in a position to solve every problem of others and yet out of politeness and social courtesy, we get involved. We have trouble in saying NO because we do not wish to disappoint or try to be nice. If we do this, we would find ourselves over stressed or failing in our promises. We must learn to be firm and say no. There is no need to explain. We should never say “I will try or let me see”. This refusal can be done politely.
    In genuine and deserving cases we should endeavour to help but selectively.

    1. so true KP... but being negative and polite, both at the same time is an art we need to master. Its not easy being both at the same time!

  5. I totally agree with you. A lot of set backs and I am still learning to say NO, which gives me looks in return. I WAS a doormat once and I am still fighting against it.

    Nice post, Ray! <3

    1. Its a big struggle MSM... and too I am fighting against it.

      We shall overcome one day! <3