Do you believe in ghosts.....??

   The evil and darker forces havent yet vacated my mind. Gosh, they are so persistent! Its like they want me to follow them, they are dropping bread-crumbs everywhere, leaving a trail for me to follow. Just when I was out of my mental ordeal about the darker forces and plan not to pursue them, an incident comes right front of my eyes. I cannot close my eyes even if I want to. I just cannot. I have to think and pursue them. Pursue them to satisfy my curiosity, pursue them to feed the burning flame of questions erupting in my mind.

  My mind tries very hard to dodge the question. "Does ghosts exists??"

  My logical and scientific side says, 'No. They dont. Its all illusionary.' My reality-bitten side says, 'Maybe, maybe....everythings not an illusion. Maybe....there is some realtiy to it. Maybe....they really do exist.'

  Our mind fails to understand things which cannot be proved scientifically, and it is right. We must find answers to a particular situation before reaching a conclusion, and those answers must fit the puzzle logically. Still, there are some puzzle pieces which dont fit anywhere. They dont have answers. They dont demand explanations. They just happen to loom in the dark, until discovered. These unnatural phenomenons occur all the time, everywhere. We just need to mark their presence and feel them around us. These unnatural phenomenons are nothing more than spirits - forces - energies. You cannot merely brand a force/spirit/energy to be dark. Its their deeds that tags them dark or not. Yes, they surround us all the time. Whether they try to control our lives or not is merely a matter of choice and nature of the spirit!

   After all this time of reading, listening and coming face to face with instances where logic fails and we have to give the situation a benifit of doubt, I have finally started believing in spirits. Yes I do. Although I dont blindly pseudonym any activity as a spirits' deed, but yes, when logics fail, science raises its hands up in the air, nothing else answers the question, it is then that we must know that we are not alone in this universe. Those in flesh and blood are not the only one homing this planet. Just like us, the spirits too have their habitat here, somewhere around us, and we must respect it by not intruding their space and privacy. How should we know if a space belongs to them? well... I have no clue in that sphere, and you better be carefull as to how you find it out! ;) :P

   Now comes the real question... Have you seen or experienced them??! 'Yes', says many of them and they truly believe of such existance! And the ones who say 'No', always find hard it to believe in such existences.

   Have I ever come face to face with these forces? No, but yes, I do believe in them. They have touched my life without touching it. They have passed my way many a times and I cannot help but be intrueged and feel mystified by their presence. They make me feel their presence without presenting themselves to me. They are not vulnerable to my senses but I can feel them around. The sudden jolting upright in my bed at night due to weird dreams, mind you, not scary but weird. And the very next day I find myself in a situation which feels so absurdly similar and identical. I dont know how, but it feels like I've already been in this situation before, and I know what's going to happen. Later, it dawns onto me, that I had been dreaming about it the previous night. People call is sixth sense, astral travel, telepathy, dream control, etc. But heyy, why dont I dream like this about my future happenings every night? Google may offer some scientific explainations, but my logic fails to understand.

   Just recently I saw the documentary-cum-movie called '?' (question mark) [the one seen above]. It deals with such a topic and answers my question in affirmation about the existance of ghosts and spirits. It also explains the presence of such forces/spirits around us and for a change, the explainations dont repel our logic senses. The phenomenons shown there too happen to be true. I didnt believe it earlier, and I am sure, anyone who hasn't witnessed something so violent as that wont believe it. While going through this mental ordeal, deciding whether they actually happen to be true or not, I turned to a friend, who happens to be a psychiatrist. His experiences and cross-overs with these spirits gave me more than just goosebumps. They got me thinking. My psych was made to believe that ghosts do exist. They too share our world and live in them just like we do. They too enjoy their space and fight back if we badger them - knowingly or unknowingly!

   And now when I think of ghosts and write this post, the curtain suddenly flows in my room with just a slight hint of breeze outside. I peep outside the window in this dark night and hear slight slurring whispers amongst the tall palm trees. I smilingly acknowledge their presence, draw the curtains and bury myself in my bed. I mumble a short prayer, and welcome the security of my pillow and the linen.

My Occult Obsession..!!

I wonder why am I so obsessed with the darker things in life so recently. No, I am not talking just about dark chocolate and coffee, I have always been obsessed with them, from as long as I can remember! Here I am talking about the occult practices. The occult obsessions. The prohibited things from our societies. The darker forces. The darker energies. The darker sides of almost everything.

Yes, there is a darker side to everything, to everyone of us. To keep it hidden or flaunt it to the world is ur choice, but the darker side remains with us, no matter what! It appears once in a while, shows its scarred face and again lurches back into its ghetto.

Of lately, I hav been reading the Shiva trilogy, and the emphasis of the evil and the good side of the same coin has only made my obsession with it more deeper and so much more stronger! I couldnt help feeling so completely entralled by the evil forces, but does that make me evil? Does my obsession with the darker aspects of life brand me too as an occult species? I dont think so. I feel engulfed by the darker hidden forces, but not so much that it blinds me and blurs my vision. Just the presence of such forces and energies around me is all I need to excite me and provide my curiosity enough fuel to keep itself burning within me.

A few days back I found myself reading and grasping all the possible stuffs I could about Tarot Reading. A strange thought crossed my mind that same night. Do I want to learn the art of Tarot Reading? Yes, my conscience replied withut hesitation. It the secrecy and power to answer all the unanswered questions that attracted me to it. The mere thought that I too can answer and know the darker secrets of life makes the adraline in my body race up. It is not just the Tarot Reading that I am intrueged by, Automatic writing, crystal balls, ouija boards, etc. too have caught my fancy. Black magic intimidates me. Psychs have always facinated me and not freaked me out!

Spooked, are you?? Dont be....!

Because without a wrong, there cannot be a right. Without dark, there cannot be any light. Without the mystical and mysterious, there cannot be anything bare and exposed. It is just the same fact that seduces me to these hidden corners of life.

Aren't you fascinated by the fairy tales you heard as a kid? Didnt they intrigue you? Didnt you want to know more and more about it? Uncover the secrets and marvell at the sheer breathtaking fact that they are no more secrets to you? Were you not hungry for more and more knowledge and power to discover the occult sciences and dig out your answers? Its the same fascination that drives me towards these dark hidden occult forces and energies with such startling velocity. I feel drawn towards them not to follow them or imbibe them but to enlighten myself about them.

I still am more mystified about the Serpant than the God who lured Eve into consuming the forbidden fruit of knowledge. The evil inside me laughs with an evil grin and tells me, You will never know, but it is that same evil grin which stimulates my walking pace into the land of forbidden secrets. Its the curiosity that becomes the driving force and leads the way to unravel the secrets of the darker land!

As I search for the answers to the hidden unanswered questions, my lips curl into a half smile and eyes narrow down into a deeper stare, the evil inside me laughs silently on a private joke which supposedly is not to be shared. Its a secret too. Ssshhhh....! ;)

Kyunki, Pagalpanti bhi zaruri hai....! ;)

 Just as sat to update my blog with another post, as usual, I was clueless and lost. Should I write on this? Or should I write on that? Or maybe this? Or wait, this seems better.... hmph! Yes, indeed I am lost! Lost in my world, trying to to give a peek-a-boo into my world through these short posts. ( Yes, these ARE short... comparatively atleast!)

So just as I wrestle with the topics and discard them with the speed of light, I get a call. No, its not from God, I am no Chetan Bhagat! :P  Its from my best friend, Veni. I tell her I am looking for a topic to write on in a dolorious voice, and she replies instantly in her usual bubbly voice, 'Hey why dont you write about our visit to the Xaviers College?' So here it is, my visit to one of the oldest and most glorious colleges of Mumbai - Xaviers College!

Disclaimer- To all you Xavierites, I am neither glorifying your college nor am I in love with your college, though agreed your college doesnt need glorifcation, the least from me, and well yes, you could call my feelings for your college as infatuation! :P

It was a lazy day in my college, lectures were cancelled, hardly any crowd to hang out with, just a few of us, with those few deciding to go back home obidiently. We (read as, me and Veni) too generally behave like those boring obidient students and catch a train and head back straight home or end up in a library or Oxford bookstore surfing books and flipping pages. But that day was different! We were in a mood for some excitement and fun! And generally, whenever we are in such a mood, we end up doing all the retarted stuffs without even a second thought! So we left our college and and started walking towards Xaviers! Yes, agreed its a 'lil long walk, but heyy walking 15 mins in the early morning wont do any harm. So we walk and walk and walk, and discovered its a 'lil more than 15 mins, almost half an hour! :P

Visiting the college was Veni's idea because she still hadnt seen the college campus yet. So le me be the guide, and le her be the tourist! I called up my school friend who studies there, she came out to recieve us like honorable guests. Little did we know, that we, honourable guests, would be stopped by the watchman for our IDs! How I wish I was 'Holly' and get an entry into the no-entry areas acting like I was the princess of Finland! :P  But no, the watchman, with his long handlebar moustache didnt seem mercyful at all, rather asked us too many questions on our presence. But somehow, we escaped it under the pretence of having some office work and managed to sneak in.

The college welcomed us with the old renaissance building and gothic architecture. The huge open space and the long stretched corridors made us feel like we happened to be in one of the colleges in a bollywood movie! To all those who dreamt of college just as shown in the bolly movies, this one would be a dream come true for you all! Yes, I truely felt like walking in a college from a bolly movie. It may seem utterly stupid and naive, but yes, I did expect to bump into a handsome cute guy, with the books and papers flying all around us, and we both go on our knees to pick up the shattered sheets of papers and books with our eyes fixed at each other and voila, we fall in love! :P But nothing of this sort happened. Rather I met many hippie guys with long hair falling over their shoulders, heavy bags on their back, a guitar or a trumpet falling on their waist, well... I guess I should leave this topic here itself. Moving on.. the canteen pulled us with its vibrant environment and we were lost there for a few seconds, digesting the panorama of the canteen and the foyer. Yes, we both were standing there for a few seconds with our mouth wide open, gasping for breathe, then we proceeded. What made us gasp? The crowd. The culture. The feel. The college!

If this wasnt enough for you, well... stay hungry, and visit the college once! There was more to what we did that day, but writing it here will earn us the tag of retards, so allow me to skip those parts! ;)

Before I cheat with my own definition of err... a short post, I will end it here. We left the college in an hour debating with ourselves as to why we should stay in our college and not change to Xaviers for our next academic year! :P  The only thing kept us back was their autonomy. Hell, I can survive in my own college for the next one year, but study for weekly tests which will be assessed during our finals and boards?? ummm... well... We love our college too! :D