Petrichor

It feels like the first dark clouds have started appearing on the horizon.

The dark famines have left deep cracks in the Earth, yet the focus is on those dark clouds. 

They have come with a calm, soothing promise.

Not like its wild sibling, Hurricane,

Who made me anticipate the rains, but laughed and ran away while I day-dreamt.

This calm soothing breeze looks at me with her promising eyes.

She promises me the sweet petrichor, and the tingling wet sensation on my skin.

I want to believe her, but the betrayals have made my faith skeptical.

I stare at those dark clouds to reassure wether they were really staying.

She smiled down at me.

And as I felt the drops on my cheeks and lips, she said, this is the law of nature my child.

The most beautiful shower comes after the driest famine ever.

The key is not to focus on the cracks, but to keep your eyes on the incoming dark clouds.

Because, if not today, they will definitely come tomorrow, 

For that is the law of nature, and nature never forgets.

Recreating the Masterpiece

Attention please ! The girl to whom this blog belongs is missing, and I am here trying to get back in touch with her, so that I can hand over her things...her life, to her. This post is a way to tell her to come and reclaim her life.

My life has become so boring of-lately, I'm not really sure if this really is my life, or am I living a pseudo-life. I dont know why and how am I taking things so lightly. I am so eased out regarding a few things. I have messed a few things in my life so much. My life looks like a big mess. But how did it all happen? Something is wrong... something is missing... but what? Maybe I have worn out my spark. Yes. The spark. exactly. The spark is missing. I dont feel enthusiastic about reading something new. Probably I really have lost my spark. But how do I get it back ? I feel so lost at times. Its like I am facing a new me these days, and I dont seem to like the new me. I prefer the old me. Although yes, I am inching towards the old me slowly again, but I want the old me back really really fast. I have become this extremely boring person who is boring me out too. I dont like reading anymore... I have stopped writing completely... the last time I really wrote was like a year back! Whoaa... what the fuck have I done to myself! I dont know. I. just. dont. know!

I have become this completely new person, who is so eased out about everything important to my old self. My old self took reading , writing , career , friends very seriously. My new self has stopped reading and writing , it is on the verge of fucking my career , and it has hurt some of my closest and bestest friends in my life! Now that is called some serious screwed up life! Wow...

But my life is going to have a happy ending. Yes. When on my deathbed, I will have zero regrets. I will smile happily before dying. I will live my life exactly how I have planned, and I will die peacefully. And since I'm not dying today... I still have time to correct a few things around. Because, well, as they say .... "Jab jaago, tab savera" ! :)

So, good morning Aditi ! Good morning to the old Aditi. And I hear the doctor say, the old Aditi will be back from her coma soon...very soon. She must follow some prescription medicines, and she will jump back to a healthy life. The medicines are nothing new... they are the age old ayurveda medicines, and have worked since times immemorial. So the cure is guaranteed. All that is needed is some discipline, and perseverance. That's all. She must start writing again, even if it is just a paragraph, but she must write everyday. And she must read everyday. Try and finish her pending list of books that she so lovingly bought and stocked up on her bookshelf. And well, pay some serious attention to her bloating body. A good workout? Or a fresh jog in the morning? Or maybe a dip in the pool? The prescription actually sounds fun! And I am very excited about it too. Excited to bring my old self back to life. I so miss the old me. I miss the spark in her eyes. I miss the spark in my life. So I will get back the spark. Anyhow.

Maybe this is real essence of life. Falling all apart, and then picking up all the pieces one by one, and recreating the masterpiece of ur life. For only when you move beyond fear, you feel free. And unless u r free, you can never build a masterpiece.

Cheers to this Zindagi !!
#LoveUZindagi #YOLO ! <3

Behtar... aur behtar...

There comes a point in life when everything comes to a stand-still. The path you were walking on since so long seems lost. You suddenly find yourself lost in the middle of desert. There is no enthusiasm...no energy...no fresh vigor...nothing new. The spice in life seems missing. You find yourself on an island, and even treading out in the open sea feels very dangerous. I am at that point of life. everything seems frozen. Life seems to have come to a full stop. You can see the Everest, but your feet feels glued to the ground. And although you want to reach the Everest, you don't feel encouraged enough to take the journey ahead. You lack encouragement...energy...enthusiasm. You feel like going back home since treading the remaining journey seems very boring and tiresome to you. You give excuses to yourself as to why you cant make it to the Everest, but somewhere deep down, you know you dont belong here, you belong to the Everest...up there, right at the top of the peak...thats where you belong. But without enthusiasm and energy, you cant even take a step further, forget climbing the Everest!

What do you do then ?

Run away? Stay right there, and keep convincing yourself why you are still standing there and not at the Everest. You know it is because of your own laziness, you know the truth. But you keep giving excuses... excuses to hide the scars... excuses to see yourself in the mirror. But are you really able to look into your eyes , and not feel ashamed? You are not. Because you know you got what you worked for. You know you didnt work as much hard as you should have. You know you are stagnant and stinking because you chose to. You know you could have been the Gangotri, but you chose to be the stinky pond because of your choice of actions.

What do you do then?

Sit there and sulk ? Or get up, take responsibility for your actions, and be responsible for your future course of life. Decide for yourself what you want to be... A lazy stinky pond? Or the fresh speedy Gangotri? Of course, being Gangotri isn't easy... there will be many rocky mountains that you will have to cross. Many impossible roads that you will have to cut and make a way for yourself. Many big ups and downs you will have to face. Many hard rocks will have to cut. And many a times stay stagnated at a place and work consistently and never lose hope. But the result will be immensely satisfying. The result will be the Holy Ganges. 'You' will be the Holy Ganges. You will be the epitome of purity and progress. You will be worshiped as a Goddess, and you will be renowned the world over. You will at the pinnacle of Everest... a place where you belong.

But at the same time, being a pond is the easiest. You sit at one place the whole day, see the same horizon every single day, and be part of the same daily chore, and keep sulking on the fact that you are stuck being a pond. The decision is always and always on us. The onus to be what we be in our life is always on us. Whether we be a river or a pond!

Of course, you will meet a few angels on your way. They will make the journey easier for you. They will help you when you are on the verge of losing all hope. But dont expect them to be by your side forever. They wont. They were sent for a purpose, which when fulfilled, they too will be gone. Cherish those magical memories, but dont hang onto them, expecting them to last forever. Nothing lasts forever. No-one stays forever. Learn to let go, and move on... on your own journey in life. People will come, people will go, but you must keep moving, till the very last day of your life.

So, life is not going to be a bed of roses, for anybody! But at least we can prevent it from being a bed of thorns. A simple ideology, a simple living, and a simple life is all we all strive for. But having accomplished these things for our own life, if we are able to make even an ounce of difference in somebody else's life, that is what really makes the difference. That is what really sets us apart from the others.

The urge to keep moving forward in life, and never be stagnated by anything is the real way to live life. The constant urge to be better than before, and make this world a better place than it was yesterday , is the real secret to life.

Just like a friend always says,
"Sometimes all you need is, Ghadi detergent.... behtar... aur behtar... aur behtar...."

Saying NO !

When was the last time you said NO to somebody ?

When was the last time you said NO to yourself ?

Saying no is an art. Its an art I wish I possessed. Because the dumb, kind, oh-let-it-be person that I am, I tend to just let things be... or simply allow myself to be fooled into saying yes, when I really want to say no. Saying no is as difficult for me as it is for a chain smoker to quit ciggies. They know its bad for their health, they know they must stop, but just knowing and thinking about it doesnt help an ounce. To actually quit your smoke-pot is a different ball-game altogether. Just simply saying no, eases your life of so many troubles which you later might have to go through. The problem again is my diplomatic nature. I just cant say no easily to anyone... hell, not even to myself !

I see a gola-wala...yeah, those flavored ice sellers, and think to myself... no, its not good for my health. And the very next moment I find myself asking for a kala-khatta flavour with extra spices on it. A friend asks me to do the extra work with a puppy smile.. and I think to myself, no way I'm doing it again this time, and to my own surprise I find my head nodding with a smile. Dont mistake me for a door-mat... its not like I let anyone or everyone take advantage of my helpful nature. But there are a few people you just cant say no to. And with those certain people I just dont seam to learn!

Saying no is such a necessity in our world now... because no matter what, you ought to be what you ought to be. Being good is good, but only at certain times... rest of the time, there is no harm in being a bitch. Because the people I cant say no to, often say no to me when I expect a yes from them. Maybe its my fault. I expect people to be like I am with them. Its like a expecting the tiger not to eat you just because you didnt eat him! Silly me ! Maybe being a herbivore is a thing of the past. Today, if you want to survive in this big bad world, you ought to go carnivorous.

A close friend of mine always told me to forgive and continue being good, irrespective of what you are getting in return. She always said, if we too start behaving like the ones we dislike, what is the difference between them and us? True, that was some food for thought. She was the one who always cooled me down everytime I got into a fight or one of my temper-attacks got the better of me. She pacified me with the same words every single time, and somehow to the libran ears it sounded convincing enough to cool down and apologize for my rude behaviour. But life is all about the middle paths... and same is the story in this case too!

Yes, true, middle path is the answer. A balance of yes and no does the trick. But to attain that perfect balance, is a lot of hard-work.

I read something in the newspaper today and loved the sheer beauty of the sentence and its meaning...
                     "  Firmness today, is the way to avoid confrontation tomorrow  "
...and so much has been said and meant in these few words. Saying this, I strive to attain that balance between YES and NO...

PS - Happy Earth day ! :D
CHEERS !

TIME HEALS ?

" Time heals... "

I have often found myself on the giving end of this particular advice. I've often been the shoulder my friends used to cry on... and I've time and again assured them, "time heals."

But does it really heal? Does it really heal all your pain and worries? Does it really erases all your wrong-doings? Does it really make you the way you were before you were shattered into pieces? If you are looking at me expectantly for answers, then forgive me, for I too am looking for the answers.

There are certain things that take eons to heal, assuming time heals everything, though it may take a little longer. But what if right when the wound is about to heal, right when you are about to bury the skeletons and move on to a fresh morning, a new day... you are suddenly reminded of the murder with intricate details. How would that feel ? If you are a masochist, then definitely, it feels like heaven ( I suppose! ), but when it comes to normal people, how does it feel ? It feels like time is not enough to heal. You probably need something else too. What else? I'm still looking for it.

They say, when you hurt a girl, you kill a part of her. But what when you completely kill her inside - out, and then leave her for the vultures to prey on. Can time really heal that? I shouldnt compartmentalize the girls. I dont have the right to point out to the men. Its just a matter of timing. Or is it karma ?

Karma is that rubber-band which stretches for a long time, and then snaps right back on your face, and sometimes leaves a permanent mark on it ! Maybe it is karma. What goes around, comes around too. And now I know, it really is true.

All we can do is wait and watch if time really does heals.

My Valentine....forever !

"Naa...naa.. Brave girls dont cry! You are my brave girl na?"
She nodded in response while wiping off the tears from her mud-smeared face. Her bright milky-white face was now full of dust, sweat and tears. The tears were leaving a trail on her mud-caked cheeks. Her cheeks were red hot and she was trying hard to control her sobs.
"You are my brave girl na?"
She nodded again. This time more swift and determined nods. Yes, she was a brave girl.
"And brave girls dont cry, hai na...?"
She managed a weak smile while violently nodding her head. Yes, she was a brave girl.
Her knees and elbows were bleeding, and her favourite frock was dirty. She almost recovered from her sobs and was feeling better. He was now telling her stories from his childhood, how he used to fall off from trees and scratch his knees and elbows, and sometimes break his bones. She was lost in his world, giggling at the funny stories, gasping and tsk-ing when he fell and hurt himself. Her pain was something she didnt remember anymore, she was now in his world, climbing trees with him, stealing mangoes and jamuns from the trees, bathing in river outlets, dozing off in the fields while being woken up by the cows or buffaloes grazing besides. She loved listening to his stories. They were her bed time essentials. They transported her to a world free from her mother scolding her, her tuition teacher asking her for the home-work, her school teacher running behind her with a cane stick, her brother snatching her favourite candy from her hand, their neighbour complaining her mom for every little thing she did, the stray dogs on the road chasing her. His stories freed her from everything that she disliked.

Without stopping his chain of stories he cleaned her wound slowly, nonchalantly. The oohs-aahs were involuntary, she wasnt aware of him cleaning her wounds, she was still cheering at him, while he played gilli-danda with the roudy boys of his neighbourhood  hitting the gilli as far as possible, and she would clap with glee. Her wounds were her least concern now, infact she had forgotten what happened half an-hour ago. There were so many more interesting things to wonder about, and he had opened the door to her imaginary world.

She could barely recall the last time she slept with her mother. Dada was her most favourite bed-companero. His stories would put her off to sleep, and she would get up cuddled besides him. He definetly was a magician. He magically made her smile and giggle, even after a bad caning from her mother. He helped her with all her homework. And magically he knew all the answers to all her questions! She would ask him the most difficult questions from her text book and he would answer them without even looking at her notebook! His handwriting was so beautiful, unlike her crooked, battered handwriting. He even knew the most difficult things of all, the multiplication tables! He knew them all! Once she asked him 100 100 za... and without even thinking or hesitating with err..errr...er... he simply said 10000. She even sat and multiplied it to check if it was correct, and yes it was! He truly was a magician! He knew everything! And the best part was, he was her favourite best friend, who would also sneak a few aath-anas into her palm every now and then when the kulfi-wallah made rounds of her locality in the evening. Not just that, he would also ensure that her mother didnt see the kulfi stains on her frock. He would run to her hearing her scream even in the middle of the night. And the best part about him was that he never let her alone in dark. He always accompanied her in the dark room, or dark lane, even if it was just a hundred yards away. He could made studies so much fun, and her dictation spellings, multiplication tables, history, geography used to be a cakewalk with him, she often wondered why her tuition teacher and school teacher could not be like dadu. Studying would be so much fun then! She would have loved to study and not hated books in that case.

Their bed-time ritual consisted of him narrating a fairy-tale  and she would beg and plead for another story, and this would continue till she dozed off. This meant it took her 5-6 stories each night to doze off. She couldnt help it, his stories were so interesting, dozing off was the last thing she wanted to do after hearing them. There were times when he would doze off in-between a story and she would wake him and hand him the thread where he left the story. She even didnt mind the repeat of stories. She just liked listening to him for hours before dozing off, and it could mean he exaggerating a fairy-tale , narrating the panchatantra stories or simply talking about his childhood. She just loved listening to him. His voice and arms was what she needed to sleep, more than stories. She needed him instead of her mother or father. He was a all-in-one for her. Give her dada, and she doesnt want anything else in this world, not even ice-cream or golas or kulfi or gol-gappa! He was her favourite...anytime, and she would never do anything which upset him, probably that was the sole reason she went to school and did her homework and learnt her lessons on time. He never had scolded her, and she got scared when he got angry, but somehow, even in that anger he always managed to give her a smile followed by a wink, and she'd relax again...getting engrossed in the things she did best...play and run around the house. He'd take her to her dance classes on his Lambretta, and she'd enjoy the ride with him more than her Kathak classes.


"You are growing up so fast!"  he'd always tell her, and she'd wonder how could she grow up fast when things around her dont change at all. He must be exaggerating, she often thought to herself. Little did she knew, that time really does fly. That one day, when she will begin to understand that time really does fly, and that she really is growing up quickly, and he's growing old quickly too, and that one day, time will run out. That she will have to race against time. That there will be no more story-telling sessions. That she will have to bid him goodbye so soon. That she will have no more have book reading competitions with him. That she will never again go for an evening walk with him. That he will never buy her a diary milk again. That he will never gift her a pen again. That she'll never again get to sleep with him. That he'll never again wipe off her tears. That he'll never tell her a story again. That he'll never smile and wink at her again.

Little did she know, that he was really a magician, who knew the preciousness and importance of time. Little did she know, that her dada was a magician too !

PS - Its Valentine's Day today... and I have never loved anybody more than him. He was, is, and always will be my valentine, forever ! So here's wishing dada a very happy valentine's day ! I know he's reading it too... so I just want to let him know that I miss him a lot.

PPS - Wishing all of you a happy Valentine's day ! May your love be as eternal as the sky...and as pure as the fire... May your life be filled with love of all sizes and shapes ! And may you have a lovely year ahead !

"Within you, I lose myself. Without you, I feel myself wanting to be lost again."

To love...
         Cheers !

MISTAKES !

"History tends to repeat itself  

if you don't learn from it."

One of my strongest memories from school days is wondering why do we have to study history. The logic I often applied to it was, the people in our history textbooks have done great work, agreed, but they are dead now, and it is all past, so why should we study about what people did back in those days? Why cant we study about people who are still alive and doing something worth-while? And my teachers often told me that we study history so that we don't repeat the mistakes our fore-fathers committed. But I remember arguing that we live in a completely different world altogether, neither are we going to construct temples like the Cholas did, or are we going to have another war like the mughals did, nor are we living in a colonial world now so as to learn how to get rid of the Britishers, so we wont be needing the satyagrahas anymore too! That was me when I was in school...I was naive, just like everyone in school days is. We are too naive to understand the realities of life. We tend to take everything on the face value. But that was forgivable as we were still kids!

Now when I am growing up, I understand the importance of history. Not just the history text books but also our own history. Now I understand how powerful history can actually be ! It can teach you so many lessons. They say, life is the biggest teacher, but I'd say time is the biggest teacher. Our past can teach us way more than we can readily grasp. Our past can show us those hidden mysterious paths and lead us to the other end of the tunnel. It is so strange in itself, the fact that your past can make your future, such a paradox!

Off recently, life has been testing me. Many incidents from my past started reappearing in my present, and it was my decision whether I wanted to carry them to my future or not. It is always our decision whether to carry our past into our future, we just don't realize it most of the times.

When we see anything from our past, we run towards it either due to nostalgia or to find answer to some unanswered questions. Either of the case, we are drawn to it, without realizing that we are actually unknowingly letting or past enter our future. Unknowingly we make the same mistakes again, and thus the entire complex cycle of past-events-ruining-my-present-and-my-future begins! And once it begins, it is very difficult to put an end to it, trust me !

To know that building our future is in own hands, and we are the one who shapes it, irrespective of what shape it takes eventually, is the biggest hurdle crossed. Once you know that everything is in our hands, that you are the master of your own destiny, you have the master key that will fit any lock you want. Of course, it takes great courage to take the responsibility of your life on yourself. To be able to say that my life is like this because of my own deeds is not a joke. You need a heart of steel and courage as much as the air on this planet. Its not going to be easy, but who said life was going to be easy anyway!

I do not wish to complicate it at all. The conclusion is very simple, you wish to move ahead in life, you wish to make your life better than you had till now, you want to make your life a success? Then there is just one mantra, learn from your past mistakes, and more importantly, do no repeat them ever again. Temptations will always try to divert you from your goal. There will be many temptations. your past may tempt you to look back once again...just once, but that once may be the end of all story! 

By this, I don't mean to say, don't make mistakes...hell no! make mistakes, make as many mistakes as you want, but there is just one condition, make those mistakes just once. Never repeat them. Always remember, If you don't have margin for your errors, your errors will kill you.

FEAR ...

Psalm 56:3-4
When I am afraid, I will trust in you.  In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?


Fear. What is fear? Dictionary says it is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. But what is fear to you? For me, fear is that feeling when I cant sleep at night... that feeling when my body aches due to the tension it is experiencing... that feeling when my heart beats twice as faster... that feeling when I dont know what will happen next...

In the last few days, I have learnt many thing... rather many life lessons, to be precise. I have learnt how to handle pressure. I have leanrt how to be on the right side of the path always...and how to stick to it, no matter how difficult it is to walk on it. I have learnt how not to make compromises, and how to live on your own terms (and I have also learnt that living on your own terms gives you that kick-ass happiness which nothing else can!) The last few days have been so much enriching that I thank God for letting me experience a peice of everything. What the last few days have taught me... I dont think anything or rather anyone else could have taught me. I feel a sense of joy and satisfaction when I think about the valuable lessons I have learnt.

My dad always tells me, Nothing can be done before or beyond time. And he's right. There is a time for everything and everyone...and recognizing the time and using it to your advantage is the secret to success.

Are you wondering why I started my blog with the topic "FEAR" ? Because right now I feel that. I am scared...yes I am. Its a different feeling for me, because I am not one of those hesitant vulnerable girls who are afraid of almost every second thing they come across. I am the exact opposite. And I am proud that I am like this. Sometimes I do become a little overconfident and make mistakes...but I learnt from my mistakes, and vow to never repeat them ever again. I make mistakes, ofcourse...but different mistakes each time! So, this tingling scary feeling that I feel right now is pretty new to me... specially because I know I have not done a blunder. To be on the right path and still to feel that slight pinch of fear is what I am going through right now.

I suddenly remembered that book... "A walk to remember" by Nicholas Sparks, where the girl always carries her Bible with her as it gives her courage to get rid of her fears. It gives her courage to face the new challenges and always be on the right path and stick to it no matter what...and ofcourse to remind her that God is always there to take care of her. Its a beautiful novel. Period. But what makes it more beautiful is the innocence and strength with which the girl and the boy both fight their fears and come out of it.

Life is not a bed of roses...thorns adorn it more than the velvety petals, but the real challenge is to fight your fears and come out as a winner. And when you become the winner, you will thank the thorns for making you stronger!

Liars and the lies !

               

 “People lie to you at some point... Because.....          

  You are more important than the truth...!!"

Yes, I like to believe that. I like to believe, like, Anne Frank, that people really are good at heart...and that they don't intend harm to anyone knowingly. Yeah, I have been believing that since time immemorial, and have I been disappointed? Hell, ofcourse, yes! I have been disappointed so many times...but I have never kept a grudge against anyone. I have never pointed my finger at them and yelled that it was all their fault. I have never accused them of any situation or any circumstance. I have always given them a benefit of doubt.  

We all are humans. And mistakes...knowingly or unknowingly are our patent rights. Gods never make mistakes...it is we who do it! If we didn't commit mistakes, we would be God! Have you ever thought how would it be to be a God? I have. And I have realized that it would be hell boring to be God! I mean, just think...no mistakes, no saying sorry...no laughing over your silliness...nobody scolding you over your mistakes...no second chance....no saying "I wont repeat it"... no learning lessons...no growing up....no sneaking out at midnight to eat ice-cream and then regretting it the next morning! How would it feel? I know the answer...it would feel like God! But do we really want to be like Gods? If you ask me...I would say NO! I am very happy being a human...a humble, faulty, error-ed  messed-up human. There's a joy in being a human that is not there in being a God. You may think that I'm trying to say "angoor khatte hai".... but if you give me the option of having khatte angoor or being a God... I'd still prefer khatte angoor. Because, it is pretty simple, there's sort-of-a-joy in being messed-up and full of errors! 

Coming back to lies.... My theory about liars is that, there always is a reason for each lie. I am saying that because I too am a liar at certain times. Yes, I have lied a lot...to many people! I cant say if there is anyone in this world whom I have not lied to... I know you have already judged me in your mind, but thats okay, because right now I'm not a liar. Right now, I have confessed the truth. I'm a human...and to lie and to error is human nature! 
It is easier said than done, I know. And it was not easy for me to forgive the liars in my life too, trust me, it was one of the hardest thing to do...ever! It takes time, ofcourse. Time heals...without a prescribed time limit. But time is the only healer....the only panacea in this world.  

When I say, liars should be forgiven, I dont mean you must embrace them irrespective of what they have done. Neither am I being the lawyer of the liars. All I'm saying is that, give them a benefit of doubt. It sure helps uncomplicating the things. 

Rain rain go away....

           Just as I flip the page of my book, the curtains of my room start flowing as though they are trying to tell me something. They flow so dramatically and happily that I'm stuck at their sight for a complete minute. They dance away to the tunes of the breeze and the cool romantic breeze envelopes me with a sense of dreamy visuals. The pages of my book turned so quickly as if they were suddenly freed from the prison and now they can go and meet their lover. The entire environment in my room right now is so romantic, I feel like falling in love. Embracing the cool breeze, mesmerised by the scent of the earth, hugging the meandering sways of wind, inhaling the wreathing air....I feel like I'm lost in an unknown country. A land meant to be heaven. A land meant only for the gods and demigods. It feels so pristine, I could say this is heaven.

             I walk up to the window, open it ajar. The breeze brings along droplets of molten dew. These sparkling dribs caress my face and I think if what I felt just a few minutes ago was an illusion? Coz now what I feel feels more like heaven. The tender drops touch my face, the heavy lightning electrify the night sky as if the King God just gifted his queen the most beautiful diamond necklace to show his affection and love for her, and the entire sky sparkled with its sheen. The thunder feels like all the demigods and celestial nymphs clapped together at this auspicious ceremony.

               I close my eyes and stand right there, lost in my own world, dreaming of a world which appears only in dreams. As the drops turn into scanty shower, I bathe my mind and soul in this celestial shower. My body drenched in this powerful yet so humble cascade, my mind feels lost. I cant think any beyond. I feel like the mermaid who has just been ushered into heaven. The rain pours onto me as if to cleanse all my impurities and give me a new life...a new direction...a new reason to live!

              Lost in my thoughts...ever so unmindful, touring the heaven and creating stories in my mind, I failed to realize that my bedroom was a flooded land now, and my bed a soaked sponge! And before I could think of ways to undo the situation, and turn this flood zone back into my little haven, the queen of my house appeared right in front of my eyes. And well, the rest , as they say, is history......

Excuse me, will you let me clean my room now? huh!!

        rain rain go away....come again another day....

Basic of Life !

 When You Feel life is out of Focus, always return to the most Basic of Life :

   -->     GOD     B R E A T H I N G .

     No Breathe , No Life !

Old Lessons !

An old Cherokee told his grandson:

“My son, there’s a battle between two wolves inside us all.
One is EVIL.
It’s anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego.
The other is GOOD.
It’s joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness & truth.”

The boy though about it, and asked:
“Grandfather, which wolf wins?”

The old man quietly replied:
“THE ONE YOU FEED.”

  PS - Sometimes, all we need is a reminder to the old lessons ! :)

The way to gain anything is to lose it!

Recently I had an eureka moment, I had a deep understanding of one of life's basic fundas.... a very simple truth of life came to my realization  And when it struck me, I was awestruck by the beauty and meaning of the simple sentence.

   " The way to gain anything is to lose it! "

I realized that the only way to keep something is to let it go. If you hold it back, it will repel. Tying something to yourself is like ensuring that it will leave you very quickly. And if you let something go freely, be sure, it is yours. I have had numerous experiences working on the same formula, but the calculation dawned to be just now. It is only now that I realized that my holding on to things just did the opposite of what I wanted. The tighter I held onto it, the fiercer it fought to free itself away from me, and the more freedom I gave, the more it clung on to me. Freedom, truly is one of the most important virtues of life. To give freedom, is one of the biggest life's lessons learnt, and to utilize your freedom, shows your maturity.

Recently, I was in a great mental despair. I was almost depressed. It pained me to think that even after so much of yearning and wanting, so much of following and observing, the thing that I wanted kept going away from me. I didnt realize it, that it was me myself who was repelling it by my constant obsession with it. Day and night, my only thought was of the object of my want. I didnt realize that by constantly thinking about it, I was repelling it instead of attracting it to myself. My despair lead me to many sleepless nights. My mind was in a turmoil. It was a fight between my patience and my obsession. I was going through a rough phase, and I wanted the answer to all my queries. And then suddenly I found my answer, in the most unexpected place, with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time. It was a revelation  The result was enlightening. I felt like a fool. I laughed at myself for being such a big fool. I laughed at myself for being so naive and ignorant.

There are many times in our lives when we care for something, and cling to it, not wanting to let it go. But no matter how much we try to hold it close to ourselves, it repels and goes further away from us. The harder we try to hold it back, the more it struggles to go away from us. And if we let it go, it comes back to us on its own. Thats the beauty of freedom. Thats the power of patience. Ofcourse, it requires you to be patient...very patient, but doesnt wine require patience to grow old and good !

So next time you feel like tying something down to yourself because it is too dear to let go, try this - let it go, and wait for it to come back on its own. It will. Trust me.

Goodbye.... !

I think its time to write to you now. Though I know I dont have to write something to you to convey it to you anymore. You can read my mind and thoughts. Its time I let you go, cz I know and believe very strongly that, the way to gain anything is to let it go.' And I feel its time I let you go, so that you can come back on your own, and I know you will come back, you have to come back!

The past few days were very bad, yes ofcourse I blame you for that. I'm not going to be sugary sweet like everyone else, I have never been like that, and I will never be. You. Yes, you are the reason for my sudden outburst of tears, for my sudden tiredness, for my sudden depression in the past few days. Yes, I have a bag full of complaints for you, and you should be ashamed of that. Never. Never ever have you given me a such a chance before, but today is different. I hope you can see everything from up there. I hope the vision from up there is very clear. I dont need to say anymore. You must have already seen your parents, your friends, me...everyone! Do you still need me to say anything else?  No, I wont! Silence kills the most, and I want you to be ashamed for your silence. Your eternal silence.

I still remember that day, when I first spoke to you. Although it is very hazy now, but the imprints are very deep. I had asked for your moral science notebook. The decorative and creative cover that you had put, had caught my eyes the very second you placed it on your desk. I know what you told your mom about me. 'There's a new girl in my class. She's fair and tall and thin, and eats a lot of butter. On top of that brings an apple too, and finished it all before the bell rings.' Aunty had told me this plenty of times. I had always smiled at this description. Had I known, you were to go so soon, I would have asked for some more memories of ours, spend more time with you, been more kind to you...if only I had known.....

Do you remember, when we had just started reading Nancy Drew books, and we both wanted to be detectives? I had written my first invisible letter to you with orange juice, and you had ironed it and read it? It was my first invitation to you to my colony. I had invited you and uncle - aunty to my colony for navratri. We had played garba all night. Those were the initial days of our everlasting bonding, the friendship which eventually made many people jealous! Maybe even God....

Do you remember our badminton games? All winter nights...just you, me and badminton. We would play till the shuttle cork would turn nothing but a few crooked feathers. Dont you remember those hopscotch games? When we bruised our knees and sprained our ankles? Dont you remember those cycling sessions? When I taught you how to cycle? Dont you remember those evenings when we would ride all around my colony? Dont you remember the times when you fell down and bruised your knees and elbows? You never cried...but aunty would come running to see if you were fine. The times when you would panic and leave your cycle and just simply step down and stand aside, while your cycle would go and dash the object infront. I wish I had taught you not to panic too....

Do you remember our cycle races? While returning home from school, we would have cycling races with each other, or sometimes with some other group of our school or any other random school. All we needed was a group of cyclers, and we would instinctively go racing with them! Do you remember the times when we discovered the huge empty road (now it flaunts the famous restaurant - Timeless), and we'd race there for 10-15 minutes everyday, before getting exhausted and heading our home. I wish I had made you cycle with me on the highway too, so that you would get rid of your highway-phobia too.....

Do you remember those endless and tireless dance rehearsals we had together? That one song on which we danced almost 5 times...'badle se badla nahi jaega....' Those straw ornaments we made together for the entire group. And the countless classes we bunked together to practice dance. Later, our rehearsal center became your house. And those small refreshments of juices and bhel that aunty would hand us. Dont you remember our group dance competition? The bengali dance group. Your house was our rehearsal center  and we would all rush home, have lunch, and immediately head back to your place for the countless dance practices. We both had choreographed the entire song. And we had won the 2nd prize too! Hadn't that group done classical dance...that first prize was ours! Dont you still remember the tune of that song? Shohag chand bodoni dhoni naacho toh dekhi.... bala naacho toh dekhi.... bala naacho toh dekhi.... bala naacho toh dekhi.....

Dont you remember our early morning bike rides? Your early morning wake up call, and I'd so sleepily say, 'Yaar, kal chalte hai, aj tu bhi so jaa, main bhi so rhi hun.' Dont you remember it all? Dont you remember our outings? Marine drive, chaupati, oxford bookstore, borivli national park.... I wish I had spend more time with you......

Dont you remember it all. I know, you are in a much better place now. I believe that. I know you He called you up there, cz maybe he needed you more than we do. But, dont you think 20 years is way too less to live life fully? I know it is. I know, there were many more things yet to be done, yet to be enjoyed, yet to be faced. But maybe he really did need someone as good, as honest, as pure and as silly like you. Or wait, I know why he called you. He needed a girl who talked like a boy! And trust me, there was none other in this world than you! And aren't you enjoying there? No books...no exams...no studies... just TV and Tang the whole day. And a pinch of your paan masala after meal, can heaven be any more enjoyable?!

Its time I let you go, only then can you return back quickly. Its time to say goodbye. There are many more things to be said, many many confessions to be made, many many things to be shared. And I will share them with you, its a promise! Whenever things will go out of my control, whenever things are too much for me to handle, whenever I need to share something, I will write to you. Thats how how we express ourselves best, dont we? I will keep writing visible and invisible letters always. Just one request, do reply to them all....cz I will always be waiting for replies.

PS - My oldest and one of the bestest friend - Titiksha Garg, met with a road accident on 30th october and passed away. It is to her. Although I say I have let her go, I have said goodbye...but it is not really that easy! It is going to take me sometime to bid her adieu. But it is one fact I truly believe in, that she is in a much better place right now, and I am happy for her!
Cheers Titiksha ! :)

They say.........

They say, you are not the same anymore, you have changed! I look at them sarcastically and think to myself, yes I'm no more the same, I have changed, when did I deny that. I know I'm no more that sweet girl who'd listen to all your non-sense with a lock on her lips. Yes, I have changed. I dont do every damn thing that you tell me to, I am no more your puppet, and yes I have changed. I use my head, I take my own decisions and I decide whats right and wrong for me. Yes, I have changed, changed for better.

They say, you no longer are what you used to be, and I say, yes, when did I tell you I'll always be the same. When did I promise I'll never change. Did I take an oath to be with you forever? No. So how did you assume I'll always be what I used to be then. I say, it is your fault not mine. Yes, I am no longer the person who I used to be, but I never said I'll never change.

They say, you no longer have time for me, and I say, yes I dont have time for you. Yes, you no longer in my priority list. Yes, I prefer meeting other people over you. Yes, I prefer talking to other people and not you. But when did I sign a contract with you, stating I'll always talk to you. When did I say you will be the only person on my contact list. When did I say you will be my priority forever. When did I promise not to talk to other people over you.

They say, you dont care anymore, and I say, true, I dont care anymore. When did I say I'll always care for you. When did I promise I'll always be at your side. When did I say you'll always be on my mind. True, I have other people to care about. Yes, you are not the only one in my life. So, stop expecting things to freeze in the past, where you are so stuck up, and move on.

They say, you look different! I know what they mean, they mean, you look ugly, but hell yeah, when did I tell you I'll always look my best. I do have a mirror at home, and trust me, I look at at it everytime before stepping out. So I know I look ugly, but when did I say I always look beautiful. I am not a plastic face, or a face plastered with plastic, so I look as I am, the true me, the natural me, and I know how I look. Yes, I look different, but did I promise to look the same ever!

They say, they said, and they will keep saying. But I never said I'll keep listening to them. I never promised I'll always do what they feel I should be doing. I never said I'll be what they want me to be. I am what I am, and I give a f*** at what they think I should be doing!!

Squeeze me like a lemon....!

Dear life,

There have been so many times when you have squeezed me like a lemon, crushed me like a sugar-cane, blended me like the coriander leaves and grated me like the onions, to bring out the best in me, and you have succeeded very successfully in doing that. And I am thankful for all that, yes I am! You've made me stronger and helped me grow like the coconut... strong, stout and hard from the outside, but soft and creamy from inside. I'm glad for that, yes I am! You've taught me so many things in all these 20 years that I can only be thankful to you. You have shown me success and failures too! There have been times when I sat in the corner and cried, but you have shown me moments too, when I proudly flaunt and rave about my achievements. You have given me many gold medals, and you have given me red lines in my report-cards too! You have shown me the good and the bad about various things in life, and made me wiser, and I thank you today for everything you have done and given me. There have been times when I fell down and scrapped my knees and shed tears that could fill a river, but you have also taught me that falling is the first step towards rising! Without failure there is no succes, without tears there is no happiness, and without night there cannot be a day.

I thank you for making me realize your value and importance. There are times when you have been unfair, unjust, rude and mean to me, or so I have felt, but you have always made me realize that with every bad thing comes a good thing. You have made me cry but you have made me laugh harder. You have pushed me into depression but you have given me tons of memories to cherish too! You have closed many doors on my face, but you have opened many new doors too! You have locked me in the dark room but you have also always slid in a candle and a matchbox to keep me company and get rid of the darkness around me. I have fallen many a times but you have always sent someone to hold me and wipe my tears and comfort me with good words and advise. You have given me many teary nights, but many laughter bouts too! You have given me a handful of enemies but a whole bunch of friends too. You have made me realize that it is not always the blood relations that really matter, relations can be build overnight with a complete stranger. It is not always necessary that whatever you do, people will do the same to you. Just because you are a vegetarian, doesnt mean, the tiger wont eat you! You've taught me to always expect the unexpected. You've taught me that no matter how perfect the lie is, it can never out-wit the truth. The truth, no matter how small and how well hidden, comes out of the closet at the end. You just cannot hide the truth, so better to tell the truth and skip the chain of lies. Thankyou for making me realize that lies never work, and truth is always the only answer.

I thank you for every little failure that you've shown me, I've learned so much from them. You've taught me that failures are not just failures, they are the must-haves for success. A person who has never failed, can never succeed. Success stands on a pillar called failure. So, the number of failures you have just means the stronger the base of your success, the only catch is to never lose hope and keep trying. Thankyou for holding my back, everytime I lost hope, and showing me that one ray of hope when everything seemed so dark. Thankyou for giving the best of everything I ever needed. The best of parents, the best of siblings, the best of guardians, the best of friends, the best of companions, the best of teachers, the best of everthing. I thank you today, because you've also shown me that, everyone in this world is not as lucky as me. Everyone on this planet is not blessed like me. You have not been so good with everyone like you've been with me. Though there were times I called you partial and mean and unfair, I didnt realise that you are way too partial and too good towards me. Thankyou for being so partial with me, and giving me all the happiness and joy and comfort in my life. Thankyou.

Life, you have made me the person that I am today. You have always showered me with surprises. You never cease to surprise me at every corner, every turn on my path. You've taught me that only change is constant, rest everything changes. We must not hold on to things, letting go is the nature and rule of life. Nothing lasts forever, one day everything has to go away...your friends, your lover, your partner, your parents, everything! Holding onto them just ensures that you cant progress in your life. Move on, enjoy the freshness of the new things around. Enjoy in the expectation of unexpected. This is life, and you must move on.

You have taught me that the only powerful moving force around is LOVE. Love everyone, smile at everyone. You might just make someone's day blissful and happy with your smile. So, smile all the time! Thankyou for teaching me something new everyday. A new experience everyday. A new adventure everyday. And most importantly, giving me a new day everyday! I feel blessed just because I'm still alive and happy! Thankyou.

But having said all this, I also have a request for you, dont squeeze me like a lemon, or crush me like a sugarcane, because..... Ouch! it hurts!!

Lady Narcissist!!

Welcome everyone!!

They say, if you wait long enough, you always get the best! And it applies to everything and everywhere in life. And today I'm here to share with you all my first guest post ever! And could it be anymore grand than having it on the blog which inspired me to start writing short stories!! Her stories awakened the dead creative cells in my brain, and now I try visualize fictional scenarios in everything around me... no, that doesn't mean I day-dream the whole day! I just try picturing unusual stories in the everyday situations around me. Just like seeing the world through a tinted glass, and everything around you appears tinted!

So, *drum-rolls*

 I, Aditi Ray, hereby, proudly announce, about my first guest post ever! And that too in none other blog than Mystical Skeptical Me!!!! *claps please!* xD :P

The author of this blog is Pradeeta Mishra, commonly known as MSM! This species is found very rarely, and can be classified as the best in its breed! I have been talking regularly to her off-lately, and she is one of the cutest, sweetest, most bindaas, and most adorable girls I've ever met! She's a lawyer by profession, graduated from Christ College, Bangalore, and is currently jobless! I've been inviting her to Mumbai considering at the huge demand and shallow supply of lawyers here, but she's hesitant! But voila, the moment I asked her for a movie, and pat comes the reply, I'll come to mumbai soon, and then we'll watch it together! :P No, she's not a retard, bas thoda screw dheela hai! :P But she has been most supportive, and so kind with my post and put it up in her blog, as a guest post! :)

So here is the link to my guest post. It is my first try with such genre, so please be kind with me folks! 

Until next time...

Cheers! :D

I have learned.....

Hola everyone....!
I've been a bit busy lately, and have been more on a reading spree than writing something. Though I have been writing constantly, that I cannot live without, but I've not been able to produce something worthy of my blog! Yeahh, just like everyone else, my blog too deserves the best! So, like I said, I've been reading a lot lately, I stumbled upon a blog and found myself reading every post religiously. This is the blog, and every single post here is a master-piece in itself. I read many of them and hugged myself for doing so. Though after reading them all, I decided to share one of them. So here you go... and I hope you too will find it worthwhile!
Happy reading fellas!!
Cheers! :D




I’ve learned-
that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.


I’ve learned-
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.


I’ve learned-
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.


I’ve learned-
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.


I’ve learned-
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.


I’ve learned-
that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.


I’ve learned-
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.


I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.


I’ve learned-
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.


I’ve learned-
that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.


I’ve learned-
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.


I’ve learned-
that you can keep going long after you can’t.


I’ve learned-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.


I’ve learned-
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.


I’ve learned-
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.


I’ve learned-
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.


I’ve learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.


I’ve learned-
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.


I’ve learned-
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.


I’ve learned-
that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.


I’ve learned-
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.


I’ve learned-
that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.


I’ve learned-
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.


I’ve learned-
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.


I’ve learned-
that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.


I’ve learned-
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.


I’ve learned-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.


I’ve learned-
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.


I’ve learned-
that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.


I’ve learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.


I’ve learned-
that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.


I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.


I’ve learned-
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.


I’ve learned-
that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.


I’ve learned-
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.


I’ve learned-
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.


I’ve learned-
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.


I’ve learned-
that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.


I’ve learned-
that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.