Kyunki, Pagalpanti bhi zaruri hai....! ;)

 Just as sat to update my blog with another post, as usual, I was clueless and lost. Should I write on this? Or should I write on that? Or maybe this? Or wait, this seems better.... hmph! Yes, indeed I am lost! Lost in my world, trying to to give a peek-a-boo into my world through these short posts. ( Yes, these ARE short... comparatively atleast!)

So just as I wrestle with the topics and discard them with the speed of light, I get a call. No, its not from God, I am no Chetan Bhagat! :P  Its from my best friend, Veni. I tell her I am looking for a topic to write on in a dolorious voice, and she replies instantly in her usual bubbly voice, 'Hey why dont you write about our visit to the Xaviers College?' So here it is, my visit to one of the oldest and most glorious colleges of Mumbai - Xaviers College!

Disclaimer- To all you Xavierites, I am neither glorifying your college nor am I in love with your college, though agreed your college doesnt need glorifcation, the least from me, and well yes, you could call my feelings for your college as infatuation! :P

It was a lazy day in my college, lectures were cancelled, hardly any crowd to hang out with, just a few of us, with those few deciding to go back home obidiently. We (read as, me and Veni) too generally behave like those boring obidient students and catch a train and head back straight home or end up in a library or Oxford bookstore surfing books and flipping pages. But that day was different! We were in a mood for some excitement and fun! And generally, whenever we are in such a mood, we end up doing all the retarted stuffs without even a second thought! So we left our college and and started walking towards Xaviers! Yes, agreed its a 'lil long walk, but heyy walking 15 mins in the early morning wont do any harm. So we walk and walk and walk, and discovered its a 'lil more than 15 mins, almost half an hour! :P

Visiting the college was Veni's idea because she still hadnt seen the college campus yet. So le me be the guide, and le her be the tourist! I called up my school friend who studies there, she came out to recieve us like honorable guests. Little did we know, that we, honourable guests, would be stopped by the watchman for our IDs! How I wish I was 'Holly' and get an entry into the no-entry areas acting like I was the princess of Finland! :P  But no, the watchman, with his long handlebar moustache didnt seem mercyful at all, rather asked us too many questions on our presence. But somehow, we escaped it under the pretence of having some office work and managed to sneak in.

The college welcomed us with the old renaissance building and gothic architecture. The huge open space and the long stretched corridors made us feel like we happened to be in one of the colleges in a bollywood movie! To all those who dreamt of college just as shown in the bolly movies, this one would be a dream come true for you all! Yes, I truely felt like walking in a college from a bolly movie. It may seem utterly stupid and naive, but yes, I did expect to bump into a handsome cute guy, with the books and papers flying all around us, and we both go on our knees to pick up the shattered sheets of papers and books with our eyes fixed at each other and voila, we fall in love! :P But nothing of this sort happened. Rather I met many hippie guys with long hair falling over their shoulders, heavy bags on their back, a guitar or a trumpet falling on their waist, well... I guess I should leave this topic here itself. Moving on.. the canteen pulled us with its vibrant environment and we were lost there for a few seconds, digesting the panorama of the canteen and the foyer. Yes, we both were standing there for a few seconds with our mouth wide open, gasping for breathe, then we proceeded. What made us gasp? The crowd. The culture. The feel. The college!

If this wasnt enough for you, well... stay hungry, and visit the college once! There was more to what we did that day, but writing it here will earn us the tag of retards, so allow me to skip those parts! ;)

Before I cheat with my own definition of err... a short post, I will end it here. We left the college in an hour debating with ourselves as to why we should stay in our college and not change to Xaviers for our next academic year! :P  The only thing kept us back was their autonomy. Hell, I can survive in my own college for the next one year, but study for weekly tests which will be assessed during our finals and boards?? ummm... well... We love our college too! :D

"Taste kahan he???"

Where is the taste gone out of our lives? Where is the inspiration? Where is the force gone which made us work harder and harder?? Its gone, lost somewhere. Lost on facebook and twitter. The energy is spent already. The motivation is missing from our lives. I remember an ad of a chat masala, where people ask the same question in chorus, "taste kahan he?". Today, I ask the same question to myself. "Taste kahan he??"

There was a time when I was inspired and motivated about the goals in my life. My destination seemed so crystal clear. Even today my destination is clear to me, but the motivation to walk on that path, the inspiration, the confidence seems to be lacking in certain proportions. The proportions although are scaringly high.

The time when all I saw was my life, my career, my goals, my future and was inspired to strive hard to attain them is the time that I miss today. Why? The inspiration is missing! I'm not inspired to work hard. I dont feel like burning the midnight oil. My mind wanders on unwanted thoughts, I try to bring it back but in that process, I too get lost! And once I get lost, its almost impossible to get back to reality. Not that this is the first time its happening to me, just that its happening at a crucial time like this. Yes, this time is crucial for me, very crucial, and I must deliver my best and succeed!

I feel like Arjuna, standing in the battlefeild with a bow and arrow in my hand, my imaginary family standing against me, and I feel low. I am not motivated to fight. I feel too small to put up this fight againt such a huge army. I have already lost the battle in my mind and feel like a loser. I feel like giving up, standing at a point where I haven't even started. I need a Krishna, to inspire me, motivate me, and push me to do my best, work with my entire potentials and win the battle. But Krishna is missing from this Kurukshetra. I look everywhere for Krishna but he is just not visible to my naked eye. I need Krishna to show me his Vishvarupa so that I feel inspired to work hard and win the battle with complete dedication to my goal. But well... Krishna is missing from my version of kurukshetra. What a tragedy! Can you imagine Mahabharata without Krishna? No! Its practically impossible! It just doesn't fit the laws of nature. There is no success without inspiration, motivation and dedication! Even if you have the question paper in your hand a day before the examination,and you dont feel motivated or inspired to learn those few answers, you cant pass, as simple as that!

Why am I saying all this? Because my finals are on my head and I still dont feel inspired and motivated to engross myself into books! Oh Krishna, show me thy Vishvarupa! Tell me thy holy words and inspire me!

Books being my soulmate in life, I feel so heartbroken! Yes, this temporary break-up with books is making me frustated and restless, all at the same time. Yes, all you out there, who are nursing a heart-ache, I completely sympathize with you. I do understand how you feel, because I too feel the same right now. I feel ditched, but thankfully, the one to ditch me is my mind and my books. I want my zen back. I want my books back. And most importantly, I want my inspiration back!

So, I end it here, wondering again, "taste kahan he??" and hoping I get the chat masala back in my life soon!

Whats new....?!!

Just today afternoon before dozing off in my warm blanket, I thought about the blog... gosh,its been so long I haven't penned down anything! Yeahh.. I was a bit messed up! Thoughts didnt flow through my mind like they used to be, or like my friend calls it, I wasn't zen! (No, not the car! Zen here means, being the channel of positive energy and being in sync with the universe on the whole.) So, now, I am zen, and here I am!

So, as usual, I am going to write about the latest happenings in my life, apart from college, class, books, shopping, and clicking pics! ;)

Whats new in my life, I ask myself. There are many things and many people. Some old relations gaining their true meaning while some new ones loosing theirs. Some old companions coming back into my life while some new ones going far away. Some new acquaintances becoming an intregal part of living while the old ones taking the backstage. Aah! So much for a meek life-form like me!

So I ask myself again, whats new in my life? The answer is vague, yet clear. Temporary, yet permanent. Not relevant, yet too important. Right here, yet not visible. I ask myself again, whats new in my life?! I concentrate on it. I think about it. Yes, sure, I know the answer to that question. Whats new in my life? Its many things.

Right from the book in my hand, the clothes in my wardrobe, the name in my inbox, the person on my mind, the name that comes to my mind when I have to share something, the people close to me, my priorities, my best friends' list, to the pair of shoes on the rack, the colour on my nails... its all new!

But then again, old is gold! Yes, as much as I enjoy the new things in my life, I miss the old ones equally...or maybe more! I dont know if its right to compare the old and the new, but damn yes, I miss them! Its not that I regret any decision I've taken so far. No. Thats not me. I never regret anything because at a certain point of time, that was exactly what I wanted to do. So no regrets for sure. But... the word but... It has started getting a pain in my butt! :P [I should try my hands on poetry someday again.. you know the humor poems! ;)]

After all this time I realized the only thing new in my life is 'change'. Everything around me and inside me is going through a change. Change for something better. Trying to make anything permanent at this stage is going to lead me and others into trouble! Aah! I ask myself again, whats new in my life? I get the answer this time. Its 'change'. 'Change' is new to my life right now. And I am loving this change. Dont know for how long, how far, but yes, I am going to accept the change again as and when it comes to visit my life. 'Cause, change is the only thing which is permanent till eternity...!!

Delights of Winter!

Winter is my favourite time. Though I know we have no winter here in this city, and though I also know that those who do have a real winter, like the Delhiites are going through now, will scoff at my seemingly false claim.


But please let me explain myself. Winter, to me, has something of romance in it...


I guess it is because of those Christmas cards we recieved frm our schoolmates in our school with pictures of snow-capped mountains and of course Santa with his huge belly n an over sized bag, the sight of everyone in sweaters (atleast in the early morning and late nights!!), or those late night badminton matches, or those hot cuppa coffee after every few hours, or those cuddling up in the blankets or woolen shawls while getting up in the morning, or simply watching ur breathe curl up into a misty cloud when you breathe... all this add up to the winter delights!!

The early morning song of the kookoos and the koels make a wonderful good morning song for a brand new start of the day. The fresh looking plants and brand new leaves on the branches of the trees makes me forget that I stay in a concrete forest... (thanks to my locality with plenty of trees and greeneries!) The morning dews droplets on the green grass glitters as the first ray of sun falls on it. The mist and fog clouding in front of our eyes before dawn and the early morning shiver we get when we come in contact with the chilling water.


Winter brings its own delights not just for me and all my human fraternity but also for the trees and plants and those speechless little creatures!!
The gardens and trees look so much more healthier and fresher during this season. Looking at them makes me feel that they are breathing this chilled air and are content doing so.


Winter is a great weather to get-togethers and open air outings. It is one season that I always look forward to spend with my relatives and cousins. The late night outings with them. The warm woolen jackets and mufflers wrapped around our body. The hoards of laughter soaring up the atmosphere and those cuddling over the warm bonfires...


I remember sitting on marine drive in the mornings and seeing the entire city change colours from dark to orange to white. ( Yes, my college is at marine drive, and it definitely is a boon and I love it hundred folds for just this fact! ) Sitting there and watching people jog-start their day. The school buses packed with children heading to school, and the excited children screaming and waving at us while we sit there with our bunch of vellas and wave back at them cheerfully! The pedigree dogs running with their owners in hoodies. The gang of senior citizens jogging or mostly walking in their groups talking and laughing. And ofcourse many-many other groups of vellas sitting on the side-walk like us, chatting incessantly and giggling or just simply lost in their own world. Winter is the time this place is the most enjoyable! 


Of course winter is not a kind time, but then neither is a heat wave, or for that matter a harsh downpour in the monsoon months!


And though the monsoon can bring its own magic, and spring is the season most poets sing loud and long about, give me winter any day.


So all of you who have not noticed the charms of the season, unwrap yourselves from in front of the TV and PC set, put on your walking shoes and step out to greet the Bombay winter!!

Local train wonders...

   Sitting in the train, my thoughts wandered everywhere. People rushed inside the train as I flipped the pages of The Times Of India. I made enormous efforts to stay focused on my column of interest. The luxury of sprawling the newspaper all over my lap was taken away in a matter of minutes. The train crossed Dadar and I had to fold the sheets into four crooked parts. The continuous chirping of people grew into a huge pandemonium with the growing advances of the stations. Ladies with lapping babies outnumbered the population of my compartment today. Few children rushed to the window and stood right in front of me forcing me to fold my paper into another fold. The growing cries of babies and the even higher pleads of the mothers to stop their babies from crying while trying to make a comfortable place for themselves had given rise to an atmosphere of complete chaos.
   Looking around me I realized, the scenario was nothing new... there are always such typical characters in train, or as a matter of fact, in any such crowded place. If you look around casually, you will find, there are always one of such kind found easily everywhere.

   -The touch-me-not ladies!
There's always a lady shouting at the others around her and accusing them of intentionally pushing her, the accused lady denying the accuse and fighting back like this accuse was capable of denying her the rights of heaven and putting her through hell!

   -The lady with the over-sized bag!
You may find them in the trains very often. They have not just one but many huge over-sized and extra stuffed bags. They occupy more space, thanks to the many numbers of bags they carry, and disturb everyone around them if they get into or get out at a crowded station.

   -The baby-sitting ladies!
These ladies are seen with a bundle of babies. The youngest of all wrapped carefully in sheets and towels resting in her arms, while the size and age of her off-springs goes on increasing. These ladies are always busy shouting orders to her children and keeping her herd from swaying in all different directions!

   -The I-don't-care ladies!
These ladies are generally found to be over-weight, and they use this as an advantage to bully the other passengers. They will simply stand in your place and you cant say a word or you will be shot-dead verbally, and if at all you are successful in enraging her then you might as well get a few elbow-blows from her!

   -The I-know-it-all ladies!
These breed of women have an opinion on almost everything happening around them. Not just that, they will also be ready to fight you tooth-and-nail, in-case you don't seem to agree with their opinion. And if you dare to be different, then you can be sure she will not shut her opinion-pot till the time she gets out of  the train!

   -The I-want-a-seat ladies!
These are the largest breed of everyday passengers. They start asking you your destination the very moment they enter the train. They claim your seat and when you get up, you are expected to bestow your seat to that particular person. In-case you forget 'that' person and give it to someone else, mind you, that maybe just the beginning of World War III!

   And there is a class of passengers like me too! We are called the 'silent-observers'. We generally have a book, newspaper or magazine in our hand, headphones in our ears, sitting/standing silently at one place, smiling at everyone whose eyes meet ours, nodding at those who ask for our opinion on their opinions, helping the ones with over-sized bags and plethora of kids, and obediently remembering the 'one' who claimed our seat!

So next time you find yourself in such a spot, you know being what is the best for your health! ;) 

Too old to cry......!

                YOU ARE TOO OLD TO CRY...!!

      I have been hearing this sentence from as long as I can remember. The days I didnt get my favourite candy, the days I didnt get permission to go out and play at an odd hour, the days when I fought with my friends and came home sobbing, the days when I fell down and scrapped my knees and elbows, the days when the teacher scolded me, the days when a street dog chased me on the road, the days when I fell off while climbing a tree or a boundary wall... people would say, 'you are too old to cry, only children cry, you are a big brave girl, dont cry!'

      I have grown up hearing these words. Since childhood, I have been taught that crying is a sign of weakness, a sign of failure, a sign of losers. Only the weakest of all cry in a situation. Crying is a sign of being helpless and surrendering to the situation. 

      But come to think of it, does crying only means being helpless, being weak, being a loser? Isn't crying one of the best ways to release the tension and free yourself from guilt and pain? Do you really have to be small to cry? Can't grown-ups cry too?! Why don't people let someone cry their heart out and get rid of all the dirt from their soul? Why dont people cry whenever they feel pain and free themselves from the emotional baggage instead of taking them forward? Its time people take the tag-line of fast-track seriously and cleanse themselves not just physically but also emotionally and MOVE ON!!

     Too many questions about crying, isn't it?!

      But after all these years, I have concluded, that, crying is not bad at all... Infact, I have promised myself, that whenever I feel the baggage of emotion too heavy to carry forward, or feel pain that I can't keep within myself, I will cry. I will cry and not be slave to that sad emotion. I will cry, cleanse myself of the thought bothering me and move on!

      To all the people who run into an empty room or a lonely corner to cry... Why hide the fact that you are pained? Why try to convey to the world that 'I am a grown-up and I dont cry?' Why??

      So next time you feel like you can't control your emotions, or you can't take it any more, or you simply are pained... don't hesitate! CRY!

      Trust me, you will feel better. You will feel happier, relaxed and lighter.

      And heyy... you don't have to be a child to cry...... grown-ups too cry!! :) 

Pristine pleasure!

   Today after lots of discussion over where we should hang out after college, I suggested we should go to Oxford bookstore and browse a few books. After a few disagreements we decided that we will follow my advice and head to Oxford, even if it is only for a brief time!
   Once there, we drifted off to our areas of interest... science, fiction, literature, comic, art, economy, history and of course Enid Blyton! I having had my share of fiction (atleast for the time being!) headed to the literature section and found myself flipping through the pages of the compiled text of Khalil Gibran! Eyeing the enormous book in my hand my friends gave me many 'oh-are-you-planning-to-read-THAT!!' look... but it lasted only a few minutes since by the time we found ourselves a seat on the floor near the overcrowded shelves, we were all lost in our own books.
   Sitting there and reading in the pristine silence broken only by the slow music flowing in the air I could feel a growing sense of relaxation. A feeling I hardly felt over a long time in the growing pandemonium around me. At that moment I felt reading books with soft music and nothing else falling on your ears is the world's only panacea! It was sheer happiness to be left alone with a book.
   In a while it was time for me to head to my TIME class and had to detach myself from my heaven and head back. Just while leaving Oxford, I made a point to find time to visit this heaven as frequently as possible in the hustle-bustle of life!!